Steemit Engagement Challenge S9-W1 | Dream Couple

Is your current partner your choice and ideal partner? How did you struggle to get it? Tell us about your heroic struggle.

I have a principle in my life , that I will only give my heart to those who deserve it, and the one who deserves it is only my current wife.

She is the sister of a childhood friend. I met him on his wedding day, I was at their house that day. As usual, on the wedding day, the cook is in , and family, relatives and friends come to lunch, and the house is crowded and full of people.

At that time, most girls showed off and adorned themselves to attract attention, and purposely moved a lot in front of young men. As for her , she used to sit in a corner of the house, isolated, with her veil and modesty, not talking to anyone and trying to hide as much as possible.

At that time, I wanted her to become my wife. By the grace of God, she memorized the Holy Quran well and received excellent academic awards from a home and family.

Anyway, she had all the good qualities I wanted, until a lot of people in town came to propose to her, as they say , but at that time I wasn't ready.

I was in college to study, I did not finish it and my financial situation does not allow it, and I am not allowed to talk to him , because it is considered a betrayal in our tradition. I waited a year and a half and I pray to God in my prayers that she be my wife

After the study ended, she sent a friend to her brother for fear that he would refuse and put me in a bad and embarrassing situation.

But I was surprised at his reaction. He was happy about it and told me that you were my dear friend. I know you well and I'm not afraid of you. Even if the matter was up to me, I did not hesitate for a moment. Despite my doubts that they would accept, I said that I would not lose anything.

Indeed, the approval was granted, thank God, and after the engagement she told me that she loved me too and wanted me to be her husband. When they offered her the deal, she accepted without hesitation, and thank goodness we have two sons.

What are the obstacles you faced when you wanted to get married, or why haven't you gotten married yet?

In fact, there was no great difficulty, since the two families agreed from the beginning to help us, so there was no misunderstanding between us, only the financial side was not too favorable and I couldn't save a lot of stuff because I didn't work much before the wedding, but thank God my wife was understanding and didn't demand and most of the stuff I bought her was after marriage, so I ask those who are about to get married to consider each other's circumstances, and life will not end with marriage and most needs will be met even after the wedding date .

What are the criteria for your ideal partner?

A person may not choose his parents and family, but of course he has the freedom to choose his life partner.

Religiously, I do not find anything better than the commandment of the Holy Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, “For the marriage of a woman is seen: Beauty, wealth, morals and her faith. Choose the one with high morals and religious so you may be saved.” This criterion must be taken into account when choosing a life partner, and many of us ignore it in exchange for achieving other criteria! This does not lead us to neglect all other criteria, of course, and among those criteria is that the partner enjoys a degree of psychological normality that qualifies him to deal with you simply as any normal human being! It is also important to check the extent of his readiness and eligibility to raise children, which is a criterion that has become forgotten as well - unfortunately - so the one who is about to marry no longer thinks whether the chosen partner is really qualified to be a father or to be a mother, or if the choice was purely utilitarian so that one only thinks about Himself?!

There is a criterion that contributes to solving many of the problems that occur in homes now: the extent of the partner’s harmony with you intellectually, and the closer he is to you in thought and visions, the less chances of the usual family fires breaking out from tension and attraction, as both partners think in approximately the same way, or at least they find a ground They stand on it when facing differences and understand each other more. There is no doubt that every person has other standards, and they are acceptable if they are not of the same kind as the ideal standards that are far from reality, or of those standards that may indicate the state of misfortune that he goes through by accepting them.

As for the admiration or approval of the girl, in our societies it is by asking, even in an indirect way or even directly to her family, or by submitting an official proposal to the family.

Do you prioritize beauty or comfort in communication? Why?

On the occasion of external beauty, the world has set specific standards for it, I really don't know why?

I mean why only colored eyes, white skin, and blonde hair weigh blah blah blah blah? Why isn't that beauty? Sure , I see that as beautiful, but it shouldn't be anything else the other way around.

What is important is that as far as the question is concerned, the topic is about the issue of acceptance first, and then agreement in principle.

Also, I can see someone as beautiful and others see them as the opposite. The thing is relative in the latter, but let's say I don't pay much attention to the question of form, and in general I look at people with my heart, but that doesn't matter to me.

As for inner beauty, it is not, do you know what it means to be your soul mate for the rest of your life, beautiful on the inside? I mean his spirit is lovely, light, his presence is gentle and sociable, and we never get tired of him!

In fact I also care about something else, similarity!

The greater the resemblance to the soul, the more beautiful, or the resemblance in general, not necessarily the shape of course, but in general I know it will not be an exact resemblance, but let's say a lot of things, but I don't know if it's really there. This means that you find someone very similar to you, with your nature and principles, with what you like, what you hate, what scares you, what makes you laugh, what makes you happy, or with your interests. .

I think that he who finds this, or part of it, can turn away from the subject of the form, and he who loves also, will turn away from the form or some defects, right?

What is your measure of happiness when you get married?

I remember reading a post on Facebook in which the owner says that after marriage he was able to master such-and-such skill , obtained a certificate in such-and-such, and advanced in his work. The post was a narration of the achievements of each one better than the other. He also says that his wife also succeeded in obtaining an academic degree , developed a new language, and other achievements that he made marriage a major focus in her achievement.

Let's admit that few succeed in weighing the equation; We don't see that very often in our societies. As soon as two people move to live with each other , they are overwhelmed with responsibilities that often make them forget the love and happiness they had before marriage , and they do not find time to live these feelings , which are absurd compared to the size of the pressures of life.

In my opinion, the reason for this is not athe responsibility in itself, but the way the spouses deal with that responsibility. In other words, the responsibility will inevitably be there, but what separates one couple from the other is mutual understanding and the extent of their cooperation in managing matters. Thus, marriage can be defined as a turning point in the lives of the two people; Either their lives will be overshadowed by happiness and understanding in all situations, or they will become a hell that is represented in a situation.

So I see (Jackson Brown) does not exaggerate when he advises: "Marry the right person; this decision will determine 90% of your happiness or unhappiness."

What do you think about early marriage or older marriage?

Marriage has a spiritual, moral, mental, psychological, material, and corresponding ages. When all these ages meet, it is time and right for you to get married.

✔ If your religion is fixed and your morals are straightened, then you will be eligible to raise your children.

✔ If you prepare your mind and take advantage of your mental readiness, you will be able to take responsibility

✔ If your psychology is healthy and you are ready to accept a partner who sees your weakness that you have covered and your flaw that you have covered, a psychological readiness to bear a mood that does not resemble you.

✔ If your financial situation improves to the extent that qualifies you to take responsibility and house burdens.

Here is your marriage at the right time.

✔ The corresponding age is that you meet someone who debates with you and troubles you in your upbringing and mentality and accepts your situation. Here it is better to get married.

The age of days is not considered a successful measure. You may be at the age of thirty, but you do not have a psychological preparation for married life, or even an understanding of responsibility. Here, it is better for you to leave marriage.

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Thank you very much for reading, it's time to invite my friends @patjewell, @nadiaturrina, @graceleon to participate in this contest.

Best Regards,
@kouba01