My Imaginary Description of Steemcurator01 by @ukpono| Written in Ninglish | March 11, 2023

Made in Canva direct

Sir @simonnwigwe, shey you dey whine me ni? How I wan take sabi wetin our oga at the top be like? Anyways, anything wey I yarn for this contest, mek you take am laidat mbok.

Eh eh, you know say since I was born, — that's like 20 something years ago — I never take these my two krokro eyes see or smell SC01 anywhere near me. I come begin dey wonder say which day im go come see me, abi na when I don grow grey hair finish, come dey use walking stick, come dey read newspaper for veranda join because me sef no come understand again o.

As I siddon dey think all these things, na im one mind come tell me, “eh, ukpono, you no think say im fit dey busy. You reason am naw. How one pesin go fit dey sit for one place — a throne sef — dey vote plenti plenti quality post everi day like im be one English teacher for Kebbi state? The guy fit dey tired na and as your name fit dey for like 300 and something how you wan make im do?”

As that one mind talk finish, another one para. “Why you talk say na guy? You no know say na only woman fit do that kain shakara. You no see how Itoro dey do. Im go just dey ignore Chiboy anytime dat one come close to am. Before Chiboy fit open mouth say hi, she don catwalk away. Twai twai twai.”

After dem don talk finish, I come begin dey think think think so tey my blood pressure almost wan rise. Na so I stop.

_{My imaginary SC01 team
Designed with Canva}


Mua thinks say this SC01 fit dey like admin account wey dey managed by plenty plenty trustworthy people — oyibo o, African, man, woman— all of them join. Today, Titi go handle am, for afternoon na Wale, for evening Tonto fit dey around. And dem dey strict. Dem no dey like carry nose smell any post wey no dey quality.

For me, I think say e dey good laidat. By having a representative from every demographic group, e fit kill favouritism pankquem. You know as our brothers from above dey say, “absolute power corrupts absolutely.”

Anyways, anyhow e dey be, mek im be. But I get message for our ogas at the top.

SC01, I know say una go see this someday.
I wan make una know say that na una be my Odogwu — all of you. Anything wey you talk na im I go do.
Na only your word be my command
In case you bin no know, na your ododo dey fulllll evediwey o.
Who dey zuzu!
Who dey breet!
SC01, Odogwu international, akwa obongawan
Biko mek you show us big love na.
The streets wan use us play Poker
Boys and girls still dey hustle for daily agege bread and mama nyeti beans o.
Na you we dey look up to now o.
Abeg, show us love. Bikonu. Thank you.

@davidmarkgeorge @sikan-eyen @nsisongudofia, una no go come join me dey hail am now. Abi una dey fear? Okay, just dey play. If this container land laidis, na only pesin wey support me wey I go remember.

About Me | 10% payout to @steem4nigeria | Proudly Nigerian🇳🇬