"Whose fault is it?"

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"You can't blame gravity for falling in love! Who's to blame?"

Blame, for me, is a defensive mechanism that causes someone to project blame or action onto another person instead of taking responsibility for their action. This simply means stealing others happiness and joy for your satisfaction.

I usually see an act of blame as toxic. Yes, I feel it's only toxic people who push blame on others because they derive joy from making other people feel bad rather than taking ownership of their doings.

When I was 10, I enjoyed pushing blame on my younger brother because I didn't want to be flogged. Whatever I do, I hide from taking ownership of it; I feel like a failure and wouldn't want to be seen as such. Instead, I blame my brother and take the glory.

There are many ups and downs in life, and sometimes when they happen, we look for someone to blame because we did not achieve what we desired or get to the level we hoped for. Sometimes, when I was much younger, I blamed my parents for not giving me that luxury life. I thought I was never going to become an adult.

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I thought I could run forever from my responsibilities, so I kept blaming them, but when they were done training me in school, I realized that I have no one to blame for anything. Whatever happens, I should take responsibility.

That moment when I was no longer receiving free money, free food, and other free things was when I learned to take responsibility. Blaming my parents kept me arms length from them. I decided to stay far away from them because I blame them for all the luxury I never enjoyed in life.

It was a very terrible period for me. I lost communication with them and decided to work out my life by myself. I know that I was too young to understand what blame could result in. I did all of that because I was scared and afraid of nothing.

I didn't want to be seen as weak, a failure, lazy, or incapable. I want to be seen as bold, smart, able, and strong in all spheres. I thought I could win or achieve more from blaming, but I know that taking responsibility is the best way to get to that height in life.

Sometimes we keep thinking, assuming, and wanting until we finally push the blame on others instead of ourselves, just so we feel good and get others hurt.

Blaming others for your actions makes you feel perfect while everyone is imperfect; it makes you feel above while others are below. Expectations make us apportion blame when they are not met. Just like I expected so much from my parents, it blinded me from recognizing the little they did for me. I was disappointed when my expectations were not met.

I think we should expect less, blame less, and take responsibility more.

I invite @mariami @nancy0 @ruthjoe