THINGS WE SEE IN CINEMAS

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One of the reasons why people hang out during weekends is purely for relaxation and easing off stress. I do that a lot too whenever i get the opportunity. On this Saturday evening I decided to visit a cinema here in Enugu.

Getting to the point of making payment, there was a long queue probably because of the class of movies build up for that evening.
I decided to wait like others who i met in the queue. The line started moving gradually. Few minutes later a lady tapped me from behind announcing to me that she was in my front.

I insisted she did not come before me. She sparked like electric and started shouting that she has been monitoring the queue from where she was sitting.

I attempted unsuccefully to explain to her that there was no indication she came before me and besides the lady in my front denied having any knowledge of her coming before me. Seeing that the lady was ready to be dramatic I decided give peace a chance by allowing her stand before me.

I stood behind her like a monument and like a man who just got his ego bruised but couldn’t do anything. I kept on shifting with malice thinking on how best to take my revenge until my thought were interrupted by the vendor who started processing my payment. I finally decided to leave the revenge for the Almighty.

I was already seated waiting for the movie to start when this same lady I had issues with waltzed in, arm in arm with a guy. Unfornately for me she came and sat beside me and the guy after her.

She sat beside me probably because she was out of options as the seats in the theatre was almost exhausted. I greeted her but she snubbed me. I felt like the ground should open and swallow both myself, my seat, drink and popcorn.

This time around smelt my pride which I could ordinarily feel from my shoulder pummelled. I didn’t know who sent me to the unrealistic peace keeping mission. The fact that I went there without someone made matters worst as I didn’t have anyone to console me.

Movies started and we had the lights out and all our eyes were glued to the television. At a point i noticed that the seat beside me makes noise at intervals which was really distracting. I kept quiet trying to concentrate. The noise continued and I knew it was time for me to exercise my right of quiet enjoyment of the movie I came to watch.

My seat neighbours were sold out by the reflection of a dimmed light on the wall which showed some level of body movements. Minding my business has become one of my hobbies except when a situation has become so unbearable that the interest of the public needs to be persevered.

I temporarily suspended my movie and decided to pay attention to what was happening around me.

Lo and behold the sister that snubbed me was locking head with brother and they were exchanging saliver in darkness.

They didn’t know someone was taking notes but like big brother, I was seeing everything even the ones that happens in darkness. For the first time, I intentionally decided to work with the devil. I did not just request him to use me, I pleaded with him to make me his instrument.

I brought out my phone and touched the power button pretending to check if I missed a call or text. The reflection of my light took them unawareness and they quickly adjusted themselves. After a short while the noise started again. I wanted to allow them be but I was worried it might get to a point where I will be receiving alerts of transactions done by someone else.

While I was trying to press the power button of my phone, the guy’s hand gently squeezed my shoulder. Whether mistakenly or not, I wouldn’t want to wait till it touches my National Assembly. I had to touch my power button again.

I noticed the lady turned her head to my side but didn’t say a word. I never knew it was possible to pay for a movie, get one free and watching them simultaneously until yesterday.

Indeed people are really unrepentant. I was thinking that the fact of turning on my power button at intervals will indicate to them that someone was paying attention but it felt they didn’t get the memo. My thoughts were interrupted by some natural but “unreligious” sounds from the lady.

The sound was intense that someone sitting in our front turned her neck to know what was wrong with the back benchers. I couldn’t tell if she saw a thing but I was happy I was not the only one hearing it even with the sound of the speakers.

Late comers where still coming in their 2s and 3s still looking for seats. I could tell from change of the sounds from the lady that something was already going down and I was the only one concerned about the breach of public peace happening right before my eyes.

I decided to allow them while seriously considering changing my seat. It became so bad that the lady started searching to hold unto something. This time around she firmly gripped my arm but upon realization and in her attempt to remove it, she fell both my bottle of Coca cola which was open and my popcorn on the floor.

I intentionally stepped on the coke and the residue splashed on the lady in our front that had earlier turned to look at us.The lady turned again, stood up and started shouting and raising her voice. Her voice drew the attention of other persons who were seated close to us.

Coincidentally all the lights was turned on to enable the people still coming in to locate their seats. It was then that both the shouting aunty, myself and other persons whose attention has been brought to our side saw that the guy’s hand was still trapped in the girl’s underwear and the girl’s wig on the floor.

The shouting aunty could not say a word again. She opened her mouth but nothing came out of it.

While she was still gazing at them along side other persons totally in shock, I stood up, took the guy’s popcorn, his coke and the girl’s Fanta and Started going home with the intention of leaving my revenge for the Almighty.