ecoTrain QOTW! "Should we judge others by our own values?
This is a bit of a maze to explain because “to judge” is a a rather loose concept for me. What is to judge? Is it to get angry? To condemn? Or merely to label as undesirable?
I do not like going into semantics all that much, but I often do because that’s what you have to do when words are used so differently by different people, or when your own concepts are alien to some people (though I imagine many #ecotrain people will know what I mean)
Let me try and put this in as simple words as I can before I get myself and my reader lost....
I judge. All the time. I believe we all do. I don’t believe it’s wrong. I believe it’s one of the things we are here to do. Right and wrong don’t exist outside of us, they are decided by us. That’s ok, so long as we realize what we are doing and that this is merely our own perspective. We can believe our perspective is right so long as we realize it is merely our own perspective and that beyond that there is no right.
That does not mean I force my ideas of right and wrong on others. I don’t condemn them for anything. My judgements are for my own use. I use them to decide more how I want to be and what I want to support and discourage in others.
So if someone does something that by my standards is a little ridiculous, I will tell them if I think they want to know, or if it had a negative effect on me in any way. I may make a practical decision to avoid someone because I think they could cause me trouble. I may roll my eyes at them in order to show disapproval. But if my ego is sitting in the passenger seat where it belongs, I won’t get angry.
I’ll take it as a sign to look inside myself for anything that I might be doing to make others feel the way that person makes me feel. At the end of the day, my focus is always about me and how I can make myself better in order to make the world better. Any Judgement is made with that in mind.
I do make reflexive judgements from old conditioning but I try to be good about catching those. Am I judging with the purpose of growing and becoming more of who I want to be and bringing more love into the world? Or am I getting off on being a better person than someone else (according to my definition of “better”)? Am I just looking for an escape from the responsibility of working on myself and doing what I can by focusing on problems others are causing? If so I try to change my focus away from that person.
There is also a lot to learn by trying to accept the ideas and behaviors of someone you deem “bad”. I used to think there were some kind of standard rules for dealing with people in a comfortable fashion, now I realize everyone has their own standards and feeling them out is really the only thing required to have a pleasant interaction.
I’m not perfect, and I don’t judge myself too harshly for messing up, I just kind of nudge myself in the right direction and listen to friends who are speaking reason.
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This entire question comes up because there is a group of people that do not want to be judged for their bad (vice) actions.
"...i can have all the sex i want... its my body, my choice..."
Never realizing that its not one action, not one choice, but it permeates their lives. The harmful (to life) actions are everywhere.
These people are really adamant about not being judged.
However, to not judge them is to enable a lot of life destroying actions.
Then there is another group, who have been on the receiving end of huge amounts of media, and thus societal, bias.
People like mediums, astrologers, witches
Groups of thinkers like conspiracy theorists, flat earthers, real scientists...
And these groups would really like people to stop judging them so harshly
I know the people you are talking about. I find that if you ignore them, they usually tie themselves out. If they attack you keep a calm head and they’ll run away because they’ll realize you aren’t the demon they thought and that’s what they are looking for, an imaginary cause for all their problems.
I believe everyone judges as well, it's kind of a retooled survival instinct XD It's useful the way you use it, not so much in the way most people use it.
How dare they!?
I really enjoyed reading this post. It really makes it clear that "judging" is not that fatal condemnation generally thought of when that word is used. And yes, I agree. We are here to make judgements, or else we'd show a complete lack of values.
Yeah, I judge for my own growth, not to condemn others
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