Mindful Monday - Tears in Heaven
Happy Monday Steemians!
A short visit today. Another post that I started that when off from where I wanted then took the fork in the road and went some where else completely. It the time of year that many of us start looking at past events. This year seems to be the year of deaths. In my short 51 years on this planet. This past year I have been directly affected by death more times than I have collectively in my life.
I view death differently than most. In general, I view it as closing to a story. Some good, some bad. Death is a finality that I don't seem to grasp. I know that I will never see or hear from that person again. In most cases though it's ok. I know they are no longer in pain, no longer suffering. In some cases, there is no rhyme or reason. If you could bring that person back and show them what they did and what it did to everyone or show them what was missed. You KNOW their choice would have been different. I do not like funerals. A funeral is for the living to feels sorry. It's not a process of saying goodbye (well not to me). A wake, a celebration of life is the way to go. Celebrate that person don't mourn what you are losing.
A phrase that I hear quite frequently is "There are 2 things that are certain in life .. Death and Taxes." This time of year it seems a little apropos.
My best friend's mom died Tuesday night. I did not think I would be as affected as I was. Not sure how I feel about that. For the most part I am sad to see my friend in the state she's in, sad for her husband because he has no idea what to do with himself. Sitting with her the next day was very comforting as much as it was sad. My friend has spent better part of her life catering to her mom. (Oh there is a very long and some what ugly story there) To see her not know what to do with herself because she didn't have to run around tending to someone.
Yes, death brings upon a huge amount of change. The past year there seems to have been more than a fair amount of death. With each one that has occurred this year, I have gotten a different feeling and message from each one.
Regardless of what life hands you, hold your head high and keep going. We all have an expiration date. Some of us find out that that date is sooner than we had hoped.
While life can seem overwhelming at times. Don't make a life decision in an emotional state. Talk to someone even if you think they won't understand. Some one out there will listen. If not, sleep on it. Things usually look different in the morning, even after the worst night's sleep.
Death is inevitable. You can't escape it. When it comes unexpectedly let your friends and loved ones help you. Shutting yourself off because of your loss hurts you more in the end.
Allow yourself time to grieve. Even if there are things or people in your life that try to consume you. The anger and resentment that builds is far more damaging than those few things that don't get done or that person that is all about themselves.
Make your life your own. Don't let anyone control you to the point that you lose say in your life. What happens when that person is gone and you are still here?
When one door closes another one opens, it is up to you to turn the knob.
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So sorry to hear about your friend's mum. Death might be inevitable, but that understanding doesn't stop the sensation of loss - grief and love is what makes us human, but doesn't make it any easier when it comes xx
Thanks :) It's all very humbling to say the least.
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You’ve been visited by @porters on behalf of Natural Medicine. Sorry for your friends loss and the losses you suffered this year! Thank-you for reminding us to take time to grieve and also to make your life your own for that is a sad thing to have a life that you never really lived!
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Hi, I want to begin by thanking you for the reblog. It brought me here and I'm glad that I read this article. I fully agree with your position on celebration of life, as opposed to a funeral. I also believe that your advice about embracing the grieving process is insightful and hopefully it helps others, as well, to get through their hard times. I once read a very good book about a man who was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It is a memoir, in which the author devotes his time once a week to visit with his dying, sociology professor. If you haven't read it, you might like it. The title is, "Tuesday's With Morrie," written by Mitch Albom. Thanks again for re-steeming me. :) Have a wonderful day.
Thank you so much @badseealchemist. I try to comment on everything I upvote especially re-steem, sometimes I am not able to. This sounds like a wonderful read, I'll have to look into it. Thank you so much for sharing. And you are most welcome for the re-steem. As you can see, I don't randomly re-steem. I have to see something that moves me. Keep up the great work .
To say I’m angry at Death is an understatement. At this point in my life I have lost my parents, a brother, my only child, all my aunts and uncles.
Sometimes it’s easier to accept the death of an older person especially if they are suffering.
We are comforted by thinking we will all meet again in some heavenly paradise but what saddens me is we will never meet these beloved people again on this earth, in the same way.
Death brings me the message of how precious life and love is. Please always make the best of it.
I would be angry too if I were in your situation @redheadpei. I am not looking forward to anyone that is very close to me. My husband jokes that he's going first because he doesn't want a life without me. I don't know what his death would do to me or my mom, my kids, my brother even my best friend. I can't imagine a life without any of them around.
This is all we can do.
I didn’t mean to lay all that on you but it just flowed out.
Things happen fast and unexpectedly some times.
Blessings always. 💗
Oh you're fine. I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to say something. That ultimately is the whole purpose these to create the environment where we can help each other. Never apologize for you feelings that is one of the few things no one can take from us.
💜