Hi @owasco,
Even in those early days, when Ms. and other gestures of equality were becoming more mainstream, I never took offense when someone opened a door for me, or somehow did not follow the new regime. Anything done with good will was fine for me. My mother used to say, "You win more friends with sugar than vinegar," or something like that. I wasn't at war. I just wanted freedom to forge my own destiny.
So I think, if people from a younger generation want to take offense, they will find a reason, whether that is in a pronoun or something else.
Do you mean well? This should be enough. Change takes time.
Sounds like your daughter is going through a bit of a rebellious stage. My poor mother had to put up with unnecessary attitude from me. I regret all of it now.
Your daughter likely will also, one day. Patience :))