Clever story, as usual :)
I remember when the term Ms. first came into use. There was consternation and even resentment, as though people who used the term wanted to upset the natural order of things. And then I remember, when I married someone I worked with, I used a hyphenated last name. This threw some people for a loop. Of course neither Ms. nor my hyphenated name were intended to be revolutionary, merely to express autonomy.
Language is really important. It is symbolic and symbols matter. That's what distressed some people, I think. They sensed a shifting of power and that was not welcome.
I like the way your elderly gentleman is receptive to change. He doesn't understand of course, but he's willing to learn.
A very congenial, and yet socially significant fiction you've offered us.
Good job!!
Those are excellent examples thanks for them. Now most of us accept those things. I had problems when I hyphenated my childrens names and refused to take my husband's last name when we married.
I think the preferred pronoun thing is going a bit far though for a couple of reasons. It's very hard to remember to use the pronoun "she" when you are referring to a trans woman (for example), no matter how many times you have been corrected or how open you are to their choice. Biology is in fact a THING.
I suspect that any toddler, when asked whether a trans woman is a man or a woman will say "man" for all but the most passing, because biology is this thing. Are we to tell even our toddlers to ask what ones preferred pronoun is and remember that in this case, a human who is obviously a man should be referred to as a "she"? It's not as simple as just a word change that erases whether a woman is married or not, it's a denial of biology, factual biology. I am not opposed to trying to remember this, but even I, very very open to the idea, can not always remember. And I've been up on this change for several years now. Something is wrong with this one.
Hi @owasco,
Even in those early days, when Ms. and other gestures of equality were becoming more mainstream, I never took offense when someone opened a door for me, or somehow did not follow the new regime. Anything done with good will was fine for me. My mother used to say, "You win more friends with sugar than vinegar," or something like that. I wasn't at war. I just wanted freedom to forge my own destiny.
So I think, if people from a younger generation want to take offense, they will find a reason, whether that is in a pronoun or something else.
Do you mean well? This should be enough. Change takes time.
Sounds like your daughter is going through a bit of a rebellious stage. My poor mother had to put up with unnecessary attitude from me. I regret all of it now.
Your daughter likely will also, one day. Patience :))