RE: Resistance, Non Violent Communication and A Solo Mom Drama
I think that everyone is different in their communication style... but I'm of the opinion that it is never constructive when someone gets aggressive... lol, at least it isn't with me because they won't get anythoing outta me if they come at me that way.
I guess some people just accept it in work life and personal life, but honestly, unless you're a verbal bully, then there is no reason to put up with it. A good example from my life is my uncle. He gets incensed when I smile at him and just turn my back and walk away when he's trying to verbally brow beat me, usually over either politics or my life choices.
In my experience, as I've grown older, I've found it increasingly easier to remove myself from those situations, and even never end up in them in the first place. Of course, the real mastery is being able to steer people like that to a more constructive and less aggressive stance in the discussion... not sure I'm there yet ;-)
Great, and thought provoking video @artemislives
yup! we can walk away and stuff the emotions in.. or we can confront and vent and get all angry.. but neither ways really ever solve anything or help us... ive learned how NVC really just jumps straight to the needs... and suddenly we realise were finally talking about the right thing!
You've kind of hit on the crux here Alex.
I'm my example, with my uncle, although I often manage to extracate myself from his aggressive energy... no conclusion is reached. I'm pretty sure his need to dominate conversations and push his world views are based on deep seated insecurities, but with my strategy in dealing with him I'll never get to the truth of it. And also, we'll never have a positive relationship, which is sad.
You put it well at the end of your comment:
I think people so often get stuck in a projected idea of what the other person is saying, based on their own preconditioning. And so, they end up talking entirely about the wrong things.
You nailed it thère.... "people get stuck in a projected idea of what the person is saying."
Glad you liked the video & hoping to hear-read you re #nvc soon!! Thanks for stopping by.