Upvoted your post and comments- and resteemed as well- hope that you get the assistance that you need.

"From what I've seen, it isn't so much the act of asking that paralyzes us--it's what lies beneath: the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one.
It points, fundamentally, to our separation from one another.”
― Amanda Palmer, The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help

I highly recommend checking out the Art of Asking, and commend you for putting yourself out there. May you receive all the help you need, and more <3 Namaste