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RE: Eating disorders: from wrong beliefs to dreadful habits
I'd be really interested then to know how you think you've developed your ED, it's always nice to get a new angle on it, while on the way to recovery. And btw, it's nice to see you are invested in spreading wellness- I've checked your posts- and you're followed :)
Hello, sorry it's taken so long to reply I've had a busy 2 weeks no time for Steemit. In a nut shell my relationship with my mother was volatile, having later on studied psychology I understand now she had a mental illness at the time, but as a child I did not comprehend that. I was 11 years old and after an incident at home I was so angry and upset that I was physically shaking in anger and subsequently vomited by accident- just as a resuly of the overwhelming emotion. It was such a shock to my system that I had been sick that it sort of stopped the cascade of negative emotion I was experiencing. The next time I felt that way, I wanted so desperately to not feel that way I remembered that the last time it happened and I was sick that it stopped all the feelings. So this was the first time I purposefully made my self sick, to try and alleviate the emotions, and that's where the cycle began. I did not know what an eating disorder was at this point and I had never heard of bulimia. But quite quickly I realised that I could eat whatever I wanted if I was going to do this, and people started commenting on me loosing some weight and so here the body image concept crept in and the food addiction quickly followed. Within a mere few months I was in a tangle of using it to control my emotions in a situation I could not escape whilst also finding comfort in the bingeing etc. That progressed into a war with myself through all of my teenage years into my early twenties. It was a long road out, but I made it :) and I would like to help others if possible in the same situation, even if that help is just having someone to share experiences with who understands what its like.