Why is there, and how to deal with suffering in life?

One of the hardest things for me in life is that I read or hear about the suffering of other people. Why should people live in suffering? Why does one have everything in life while the other lives the one who is in debt? Where is justice when you need it?

Any difficulty that life poses to us can be perceived as a suffering or a challenge. If we define our difficulties as suffering, we will respond with bitterness and resistance or depression and paralysis; In any case, we will become victims. If we define our difficulties as challenges, we will mobilize our endurance and potential to face the challenge, and we will become victors. When someone is thrown at a basketball, he can slip away, take a bump, or catch him and start running.

In the game of life, even if we can not score, our very running with the ball will make us champions. A woman I knew, a mother of five, suffered a head tumor in her early forties. She responded valiantly, daringly and positively. She never complained and continued to look after her family as long as she could. Shortly before her death, she asked her sister: "Do you think I will succeed?" Her sister replied, "You're a success."

Challenges and experiences can be divided into two categories: large and dramatic attempts, and routine experiments. It is usually easy to distinguish and identify the great attempts. The right or noble choice is usually clear, our spiritual adrenaline begins to flow, and often we can stimulate ourselves to stand up and face the challenge. Thus, on the battlefield, a perfectly simple soldier could risk his life to save a wounded friend, even though he would curse and curse the same friend if he had bypassed him in line in the dining room.

Accordingly, there are two types of suffering: great and dramatic suffering, and routine difficulties of everyday life - the irritating and tedious things that accompany every person every day.

Every suffering, large or small, is an attempt to hasten and advance the positive personal potential of man. The induction is painful and unpleasant for several reasons: First because we would not normally wake up without it - most of us choose not to absorb deep spiritual influence out of pleasure. Second, we have to live with the consequences of our decisions. Although our ego will not agree with the fact, most of our suffering comes as a result of our erroneous decisions, whether in this lifetime or in another. Third, the level of meaning in a choice that has something to lose is infinitely higher than that which does not exact a high price.

Suffered as punishment
Many people feel that suffering is punishment. The perception that all the suffering that exists in the world has only one purpose, which is to punish the sinners, is erroneous and leads to blurring understanding of the purpose of life.

When people punish, they often want to help a person they punish, such as the education of a child, but usually, our motive is also combined with egoism. Here is an example of a "good punishment": your three-year-old is fiddling with her fingers with the power socket. What are you supposed to do? Hit her hand and shout: "Move your hand away." It would be foolish to start explaining to her patiently: "Listen, honey, there's something called electricity." You want to create a dramatic enough effect that will prevent her from risking herself again.

However, most human punishment is not completely untouched and pure. Imagine another kind of punishment: the way we punish adults, a way we prefer not to call "punishment". Say one of our husband's husbands disappointed her in some way, maybe he forgot her birthday. She wants to "show" him. We punish adults with a sour face, coldness, passive-aggressive behavior.

When we punish adults, we often mislead ourselves and think, "I'm doing it for his own good. Anyway, would that woman dream of even punishing her friend's husband when he forgot his wife's birthday? Although objectively, he too had to learn! But she would have explained to him tastefully and did not punish him. Through this test of: "How would I react if it happened to someone else?" We can find out how much ego is involved in our reactions. Intuitively we know that a large percentage of our punitive character is egocentric.

Economic suffering
Economic suffering can trigger two types of response. Negative response will be sadness, anger, bitterness, etc. If a well-off and generous person has lost a considerable portion of his property, and as a result has become hotheaded and miserly, he is spiritually withdrawn. A fundamental point to remember is: You can always respond differently. That person can begin to appreciate more of what is left to him. He can shift his inner vision from material competition, and seek pleasure in other directions, such as family, nature or creativity. It can become more sensitive to others who are economically disadvantaged. The possibilities for spiritual growth are diverse.

If you experience economic suffering, who can determine where your suffering will lead you? you! This is a fundamental point. People often feel that suffering confronts them with a fait accompli, that suffering is the last word, the end of the chapter. But in fact, suffering is the beginning of a new chapter.

The only way we can not respond to suffering is the lack of response. A person who copes with anguish cannot remain the same as before. He can choose to let his suffering lead him forward, or he can let him roll him back, but movement, in any direction, is a phenomenon that is not separate from suffering.

Looking back, we sometimes realize that the time we had the greatest growth was in times of difficulty and experience. On the other hand, almost no one happens, the time when he had the most growth and progress, was in a period of peace.

Physical suffering
Physical anguish is much more difficult than economic suffering. I emphasize this point because if you are about to undergo a great trial, economic distress is preferable to all others.

Physical suffering definitely takes the person further, in any direction. It can move a person in a negative way to self-immersion, anger, jealousy of healthy human beings, despair or abandonment. Patients in the body can also move the person forward. We can see people who have suffered physically and become more compassionate and empathetic, more modest, more courageous, and who through their illness have discovered what life really is.

I noticed this especially in people who had heart attacks. Often, after a heart attack, the person makes a complete change in his order of priorities. Rarely does someone have a heart attack and say, "I 'm dead. I' m going back to the office for 16 hours a day. The awakening of consciousness that a person's years are limited can shake a person to do in his life what he has always dreamed of, for example, to write a book or to produce a patent. The concrete understanding that life is fragile can make us appreciate it much more.

Another good decision to which people sometimes come in the wake of physical suffering is spirituality. Spirituality is the ability to rise beyond limits. We are all limited by the fact that we live only a given number of years, and we have access to only a limited number of experiences. When a person is sick, his physical limitations multiply. Sometimes he responds by choosing to move toward another realm of self-determination, to seek fulfillment by self-employment and spiritual enrichment. The worlds that can be discovered within the soul of man are not within the limits of time, space, or physical body. Engaging in this dimension of self-search leads to a richer relationship, not only with those we love but also with a new source of love.

Another transcendence that sick or recovering people can reach is to become sensitive to the pain of others.

I can not understand what it's like to be deaf, or blind, or confined to a wheelchair. I am sure, however, that the bond of pain shared by so many people with the same aches gives them the opportunity to open their hearts to each other and respond more honestly, as opposed to what a person outside the picture imagines.

No matter what one does, the agonies of the body require change. But what direction will change, this is his choice.

One gift that physical suffering almost always gives is humility. Most of us are "swollen" and full of the sense of body immunity that comes with youth and remains with us until it is shattered by those who are serious illnesses or a sober diagnosis. Most of the serious physical pains will be cured over time, or not, no matter how smart, creative or important we are. If we are brave, we can conduct a worthy struggle. But so much of the healing is not in human hands, that we have to recognize our helplessness in the face of physical illness. This humility is divided free because we accept it even without choosing it.

The suffering of others
Worse than physical suffering is the sorrow of seeing how a loved one is tormented. Worst of all, it is that of a parent who sees his child suffering. This is the greatest suffering of all.

The idea is that every soul has a task, and not every task can end in a single life cycle. It is said that even if a person borrowed a small sum and does not repay it, he will have to be reborn in order to repay the debt.

The suffering that comes from seeing a loved one is tormented, harder than any attempt. Choosing which pair of parents should be the one to have a child who is supposed to suffer is not a random choice. The needs of the child's soul and the potential for growth of the parents are fully adapted, tailored to the extent.

Like all kinds of suffering, this suffering must also be seen as a challenge, with a wide range of response possibilities. What are the bad choices that parents of a child who suffers can choose? Anger, bitterness, alienation from the child, mutual alienation, alienation from their better self. These are ways people choose to respond often. The positive possibilities are just as extreme as the negative ones: devotion to the child; Mutual devotion.

Another good choice is doing for other people who suffer. Have you noticed that many organizations that come to the aid of people suffering from a particular disease, or funds established to fund research and development of healing methods, have been firmly established and supported by parents whose children have suffered the same disease? These people, who often spend all their free time and more for these purposes, reacted to the heartache caused by their children's illness, sometimes to the loss they experienced, channeling their energies and channeling them to help other people with the same illness, or seeking a cure that would save others from similar loss. This is an incredible choice. Instead of depression that directs all man's energy toward himself, such a choice radiates its energy outward, toward other humans. Such a choice develops the world of man, expands his heart, and makes him immeasurably greater than before the disaster struck him. Although we do not claim that the disaster itself was "good," an objective witness would conclude that many of these altruistic people are people who have suffered the pain of a relative.

How, then, are we supposed to respond to our suffering, if we do not know where it really comes from? Wherever he comes from, one question will always be relevant: How can I use it to move forward?

Self-acceptance and self-love are actually the deepest and most profound change in our relationship to ourselves. This is a gradual and fundamental change in our vision and attitude toward ourselves, the life, and the world in which we live. It is a change and a way of learning that brings easy, pleasant and deep healing to patterns of mental suffering such as anxiety, distress, blasts, victims, guilt, remorse, emptiness, loneliness, depression and more.

Self-acceptance and self-love is an intelligent approach, an honest and learning approach and it does not require a change in our thoughts or feelings, it creates the change by a loving presence and honest learning.


Images via Pixabay.com

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