Pregnancy Diary: 38 WEEKS - The Birth Plan [3rd August 2016]
For those who want an honest and realistic picture of pregnancy, birth and raising three kids, then take a look at my #pregnancydiary and feel free get in touch with any comments, questions or suggestions.
A baby will be born when it's supposed to be born and doctors and midwives will advise on the best way to get baby out. However, it's worth having a birth plan to communicate to medical staff about the type of labour you wish to have and things you might want to avoid. Particularly because when labour begins, you may be out of it and feel like screaming at people instead of calmly communicating what you want. Birth plans don't always go to plan and that's ok. It's still better to have one than not.
Here are my birth plans for each child:
Baby No. 1 - March 2009
The Birth Plan
Have baby in birthing centre not hospital
No pain relief, I want everything to be as nature intended
My husband will be my birthing partner and will give me back massages through labour
Listen to relaxing music on CD
Use the birthing pool to manage pain and I want baby to be born in the pool
Skin to skin contact when baby is born
Husband to stay the night with me and baby in the luxurious double room
Go home the next day
What actually happened:
Waters broke at home which started off strong contractions
Went to birthing centre, midwives said I was only two centimetre dilated and sent me home
Couldn't cope with contractions so went back to birthing centre. They felt sorry for me so let me stay there
Spent 20 hours in the birthing centre pacing the room through my contractions and getting in and out of the pool
Husband attempted to give me a back massage, I told him to stop as it was annoying me
Told husband to switch off the CD as it was annoying me
Ended up sucking on gas and air like my life depended on it
Got to 9 centimetres dilated and midwives transferred me to hospital as everything was progressing slowly and baby's head was in a weird position
Got to hospital and demanded an epidural
Was given an epidural and put on a drip of hormones to speed up contractions
Was given countless internal examinations with doctors and midwives trying to
turn baby's head around from inside me
My parents assumed I was dying after being in labour for so long and rushed to the hospital
Was given the full dose of epidural and taken to theatre for possible c-section
Doctors asked me to attempt pushing one last time and dragged baby daughter out using forceps after giving me an episiotomy
Total length of labour was 36 hours
Skin to skin contact consisted of baby being placed on my chest for two seconds before taken away to be examined and cleaned
Had the shakes (side effect of epidural) and couldn't hold baby for over an hour
Husband tried to sleep in a chair next to my bed but was told to go home
Baby and I were given a dose of antibiotics because my waters broke over 24 hours before the birth. We had to stay in hospital for 3 days
Returned to hospital a few days later due to bits of the placenta being left inside me
Baby No. 2 - October 2010
The Birth Plan:
EPIDURAL!
What actually happened:
What I thought were Braxton Hicks contractions were actually real ones which got stronger after I had a "show" (the mucus plug which comes away from the neck of the womb)
Stayed at home for as long as possible and used a TENS machine (a machine which allows you to send electric currents to your muscles, this apparently takes your mind off contractions)
Was 5 to 6 cms dilated when I got to hospital so midwives told me to stay
Husband had to drop off our daughter to his sister so I was alone in a cubicle crying and sucking on gas and air while I waited for a delivery room to become available
Bro in law and sis in law came to sit with me in the cubicle and offer moral support
Parents came to stay at my place and look after elder daughter at night
Bro in law looked traumatised and made a swift exit as soon as hubby got back. Sis in law stayed for the whole thing and was a big help
Begged for an epidural
Was told I was doing really well and didn't need an epidural
Demanded epidural
Got an epidural
Had to lie on hospital bed due to epidural but could still feel contractions and knew when to push
Baby daughter was born after a 10 hour labour
Had skin to skin contact and breastfed straight after giving birth
Vaguely remember pushing out the placenta
Had to be stitched up as I tore along my episiotomy scar. Doctor shoved some painkillers up my butt. By this point I'd stopped caring
Went home the next day
Baby No. 3
The Birth Plan:
Phone birthing centre as soon as waters break/contractions start
Get bro in law to pick up kids, and get parents to come over to put them to bed at night.
Husband will be main birthing partner but phone little sis and sis in law to come along for extra support....the more the merrier
Stay at home for as long as possible - watch Season 3 of Orange is the New Black on Netflix to take mind of contractions
Check labour bag contents list, pack drinks and snacks
When contractions are regular and getting intense go to birthing centre
Try active birthing positions during contractions
Put music CDs on to help me relax
Use gas and air if needed
When pain gets unbearable and I start screaming for an epidural, it's time to enter the birthing pool
Skin to skin contact when baby is born
Wait until cord has stopped pulsating before cutting it
Let placenta come away in its own time.
Husband to stay over in the double room...might as well make the most of a night out together
Go home the next day
What happens next...
As you can see, I was in blissful ignorance the first around and that first birth experience ended up scarring me for life. It's the reason I lost confidence the second time around. Especially since the second time around was only 18 months later!
This time I want to try live the birthing centre dream again but be more realistic about it. I like the attention from midwives that you get in the birthing centre and the facilities are great. I'm going to try and give birth without an epidural this time. I've recently spoken to a lot of mums who have had positive natural birth experiences and been reading up on active births too. It's made me feel braver....that and the fact that a 5 year gap has put a rose tinted glow on everything! I'll let you know how it goes!
Congratulations! While I personally will never be able to bare children, I am constantly amazed at the miracle of life. Your body is hosting another sentient being and that is so beautiful. :)
Thank you. Yes it really is a miracle. It's a shame it all has to be so painful!...it's still worth it though!
Congratulations! This is also a very educational and helpful post for many others I'm sure!
wow! good luck and congrats!
Nice read. My partner had tons of plans that went right out the window as soon as the contractions started. She was like a general who worked on this master battle plan that got thrown out as soon as we went hot.
Lol, yes it happens!
Congratulations!!! A newborn child it is always a blessing for everybody :) and good luck with everything.
Congrats and the best of luck!
I had hoped for a natural birth - I wasn't against some pain killers but didn't want an epidural, and felt confident I could handle it.
And I did for the first 12 hours, maybe even 18... But after 20 or so and she was stuck cause she was face up, she ended up distressed and we had an emergency c section. Completely not what I had planned or hoped for, but thankful we both came out the other side healthy none the less.
Gotta say, if and when number 2 rolls around I'm leaning strongly towards just scheduling a c section. Which I never thought I'd do....
But I think having the right environment like a birthing center to try for natural makes a huge difference!
I really mourned the fact that I didn't get to hold her until a few hours after she was born. :(
I totally understand why you would want to schedule a c-section. However I do know mums who had similar experience and went on to have a good experience of a natural birth second time around, so you never know!
I also felt bad when I couldn't hold my first baby straight after she was born. I think of that as her bonding time with Daddy though! I'm sure you made up for the cuddles afterwards!
Cuddles cuddles and more cuddles!
I'll wait until I'm actually pregnant again and have to decide for real to make a firm decision about it all. We shall see
Best of luck to you! Fingers crossed for the best experience for this one :) You def have a great mindset going in
Upvoted! So great that you inspire others to be mom!
One of the greatest mission of a woman is to "create" new wonderful people. Although it is very hard work. I have a small son (2 years), so to some extent I understand what I'm saying. And it so happened that when my wife wasa giving birth, I had to become a midwife for her :) We were at home, and it was an unforgettable experience :) Thank God, this ended well.
Thank you, @mummyimperfect!
Well done to you on your midwife skills! That's amazing and I'm glad it all went ok in the end.
My birthing plan looked similar to yours... All natural. I ended up with an emergency C-section and antibiotics because of a fever after my water broke and was in the hospital for 4 days. I had been having contractions for 3 days. I feel like most people think birthing is like the movies, you breeze in and push. Thank you for sharing.
In the movies women rush straight to the hospital after their waters break and a baby appears swiftly after! When they take the baby home from hospital they are already back in their skinny jeans!....if only it was like this in real life! I remember feeling like I'd been hit by a bus and still looked pregnant for 4 months!
Glad you found me and I found you :) I am planning to write about pregnancy very soon . I have a group on rocket chat called #mammasittas . Pls join us there MummyIP