RE: Why I Am Choosing Not To Forgive You
I have had a really bad experience with my mother. She did/ said so many horrible things to me growing up. Some things unforgivable by many but for me, for my spiritual growth, I had to forgive her.
But forgiving her doesn't mean she has permission to continue to treat me the way she does, the way she has in the past.
I don't have to continue to let her use me, verbally abuse me, steal from me, lie to me, or anything else she manipulates me into.
What it means is that I have learned from my mistakes. learned that I don't need a person like her in my life.
What I've also learned is that I have a lot more self-respect when I can forgive her for her behaviors but I don't have to let her continue those behaviors around me.
Forgiveness isn't for her, it's for me and my spiritual growth. I can't grow if I can't learn from my mistakes.
I try to look at everyone in my life as either a lesson or a blessing, and try to see what is their purpose for crossing my path.
Are they placed in front of me to teach me something?
Maybe this person was placed in front of you for you to learn to forgive?
I do see your point and appreciate such a well thought out response to my post. Thanks! I have spent my entire life easily forgiving others and was never able to fully move on from the situation and never felt like I grew from the experience. I would no longer hold resentment toward them or any ill-will but I always felt like I was selling myself short. Maybe my thinking is backwards here but in my heart I felt like truly forgiving someone was taking away from myself and my own happiness. I still love the person that wronged me and always will. I am just choosing to not allow them into my life anymore. Maybe I have forgiven them in some small way but have maintained my own sanity in the process?