Yes I'm Fat. Why Does it Bother you?

in #health7 years ago

I will admit it. I could eat better and healthier. I could exercise more. There are no excuses for me not to at all. Especially now since one of the biggest hurdles in my life is being resolved very soon. I will flat out admit that I am lazy.

And I will defend my laziness. I've been under an insurmountable stress over the last 10 years. I'm fighting day in and day out to keep my head above the water due to severe depression. So maybe I'm not really lazy. Maybe I was just hard on myself again for the umpteenth time and I'm just exhausted.

I'm exhausted and as a result I am loaded with cortisol. I also have polycystic ovarian syndrome which alone predisposes me to being heavy. So there you have it. I'm bloody fat.

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Yes I am fat. I take some responsibility for it. But even so, why does that bother you? Why do I not have the right to enjoy a sweet treat just like someone who is slim or someone who has a medium build? Why do I not have the right to go anywhere because I am more than just pleasantly plump? What gives you the right to body shame?

However this is how our effed up society operates. Fat people are shunned because they are seen as repugnant.

Here is another example. I could go to a department store and ask for assistance with something. No one wants to be bothered. However someone else with a slim or medium build needs the same kind of assistance and well, help is right there!

How about this? Someone of my size applies for a job with a great deal of skill, experience and promises to be reliable. That person is asked for an interview but is immediately tossed over because someone slimmer with even less experience got the job. Why? You guessed it. Better body!

Now here is the thing. If I do need help at a store I immediately do get it. If I enjoy an ice cream cone, no one notices. I have been hired in person. And I think I am the exception because most people of my size are shunned and mocked.

However just because it hasn't happened (not in a really long time anyway) doesn't mean it won't. I'm sure some jerk will notice me around and shame my body.

I know I can do better and lose some weight. It's a mindset thing. I am working on getting there for the sake of my overall health, not to please society. However I am not meant to be thin because that is just not my genetic make up. I don't want to be thin either. I just want to be healthy.

However right now I am still dealing with a lot of struggles and I have to really be in a place in order to really focus on my health. For now yes I am fat. Deal with it. Don't judge since you don't know my situation.

And at best I will be medium but big boned, and still on the larger side. That will be after developing a good healthy routine. That is my aim because that is attainable for me. But right now, I'm fat and you can accept me for who I am and look past it or eff off!

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Dear @miriamslozberg,

Fuck everyone who is judging you based on your looks. As long as you feel great and healthy, then nothing else matters. I am very very skinny and the problem with me is that I'm eating alot (not regurlarly) but I can't gain weight easily. Unfortunately, due to stress and depression, I've lost 11kg within 6months (and I was already skinny). From 56 to 45 kg. It happened in 2014. We're now 3 years later and I haven't gained a lot of weight yet. I really want to get back to the weight I was before, and now I'm working hard to reach it.

I felt a lot of insecurities and many people around me even told me they get scared when looking at me, because they could see my bones. I was very hurt. Sometimes, I can still get angry about it because people never ask you WHY you're like this and WHAT has happened. They always like to judge before they know the story. But you know what.. the only people that you should focus on is YOU and the people who accept you for who you are, respect and love you like you respect and love them. Don't let their negative energy get to you. It's not worth your energy. Your energy should be given to yourself! Take your time. Enjoy whatever you like to eat. Stay conscious and focus on you. Work on yourself. You'll get there where YOU want yourself to be, not what others want to be. Our society is messed up, but hey, this is your world and you should make the best out of it! I follow you and I really hope to read your progress :-)! Youcan do this! 💪🏽

Thank you for sharing your story as that was courageous. Depression is a monster. I really don't care what others think because like what you said the society is messed up. However this had to be written and said!

Fuck what you look like! Let's just focus on how you feel! I'm really sorry to hear you deal with depression and POS! Thats terrible! I know you didn't ask for help or suggestions but coming from someone who's health used to be so awful I truly thought I would never have a normal life and also had POS oh and I also LOVE food so giving up things isn't really an option lol, ok so I went to a whole food plant based diet and while he transition was really rough cause if detoxing and whatnot after awhile I was shocked that not only did I start to feel great but all my health issues started to clear up. Really hope you find a solution to help yourself feel great on a daily basis! Sending you so so much love! If you ever want to chat about things let me know! Oh and I have a recipe for almost anything you can think of so there's that too! 😘

Thank you. I am in the middle of a hurdle which will end soon and then I can finally zero in on fixing myself. I will look into all of this. Thanks for your support and glad you are better.

Good luck with your journey! Will always be right here quietly and sometimes not so quietly supporting you! Lots and lots of love!

I also know what depression feels like. Great share today about your heart and whats going on for you :) #thealliance

And it's not pleasant. Putting it lightly. Thank you.

You are YOU! What everyone else thinks is THEIR problem!

Well said @jaynie and thank you.

I believe you have the right mindset when you are focused on health and that's exactly what I am advising the persons who I am close to do. My girlfriend is really thin so she never works out. And whenever I am telling her to consider running or biking she thinks I am calling her fat. It's not about the looks of the body it is about its health. People just want to look fancy outside and don't care about the inside (in multiple levels). Great post.

Thank you and yes you could be thin and be unhealthy too. It's about health 100%.

I'm a fat guy. I know I am. I've done the yo-yo many times. Being a Chef doesn't help much. I can make some really excellent food, and the healthy stuff it ain't. lol!

When I was in grade school, I was teased and ridiculed relentlessly. A 4th grader isn't supposed to want to skip school. I went to private school that year. Even the teacher got in on it, locking me in a closet at one point. My parents pulled me out and put me back in public school. Kids can be so cruel!

So far, about the only discrimination against me as a big person I've felt is in my wallet. Bigger clothes are more expensive than those for smaller sized people. Meh...

Upvoted! Thanks so much for sharing!

My gosh I am so sorry to hear about your experiences and how horrible about the teacher. That is reprehensible! You are right about the cost.

It's ok really. I came to terms with it a long time ago. I got back at some of them from that time though. In high school, I made some of them my friends. lol To this day we watch each other's backs, even from hundreds of miles away. The best revenge ever.

Medication can mess up your weight too. I've been there. It's important to speak up. Great post.

Yes it sure can. Thanks.

Don't bother me at all. I don't judge people based on this that or the other, I admire them for the qualities I like or lack.

I know and that's why I like you 😊

(gives you big hug)

Negative thought and emotions drain our entire entity very deeply.

Positive thoughts and emotions actually give us energy and revive us. :)

You are right but when you are dealing with clinical and situational depression as well, it makes it more challenging. Not an excuse, it's a fact. Depression is not in anyone's head. It's time that people treat the seriousness of it like cancer.

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