Where 16 inch Condoms are Labelled Small !
Damn! Just noticed, I trudge like an old man. I’m an age denier. Making every effort to stave off the inevitable. Eat right, exercise, keep busy, don’t give in to any of those betrayers of age, sticks, zimmers, scooters, crutches, or ear trumpets.
But I trudge. I caught a sideways glimpse as I passed a shop window. Shock horror, is that me? I took a few steps back and forward again to make sure. Is this the start of decline?
As if to confirm, at pedestrian crossing lights I can barely cross in the Nano seconds allowed. Who times these things?
It must be the same Olympic sprinter that times the only five minutes from the sea guest house ads, and they could solve that by simply grading - Sprint 5 minutes’, Run 10, and Trudge – How long you here for?
Looking for a greeting card of what happened in my birth year of 1926, I find they don’t go past 1936.
Even in my latest pleasure of writing this blog on Steemit, I can see why I’m unlikely to attract followers – who’s going to trail a 90-year-old where he’s going!
But some famous people were born in my year. I like to say 1926 saw the arrival of the Queen, Sir David Attenborough and Ivor Vale.
I’m a believer in the power of the mind ‘Think young, and it will be so’. But it’s impossible to keep reality out of your world and certain organisations are ever alert to opportunity.
Where my mail used to be holiday brochures, job opportunities and forward planning guides.
It's now care homes, and funeral parlours.
My stay young mind was further brain washed by too many remarks – ‘Ivor, you’ll be 90 soon’. It was as if it jolted the mind awake with a start – ‘Hey, did I hear right, he’s 90 soon. Better make him fit the popular image.
Almost overnight walking slowed, and age associated memory lapses occurred. Like finding myself one morning in the local newspaper shop wearing one slipper and a shoe for footwear. Yes, I had remembered trousers and coat.
Some of the other embarrassments can wait for another post.
But it’s not all downturn. As I write, it’s a cold but lovely sunny day, and the weekend is when I indulge in a naughty treat of an iced bun.
I’ve been going to a shop so long for the same cake that I’m known as Cinnamon Swirl. I like it though, don’t you? Roll it around the tongue. Got a glamour film star ring to it.
Next visit, I’m tempted to swirl and swagger in wearing a Fedora hat, cape, and flamboyantly flourishing a long cigarette holder. Couldn’t find an image on Google, but you get the picture!
Another liking is for whisky. I rarely have cause to visit a doctor but I got called to my local surgery because of a government initiative that said people of a vulnerable age (Interpretation – ‘In Life’s Departure Lounge’) should have a named GP.
My designated one invited me to the surgery one morning for a meet and greet.
She looked at my medical record saying “We don’t see you often’ then went on to ask, as you live alone how do you look after yourself? I told her of my diet, interests, exercise and social interaction.
“And what about alcohol “? I said “Ooh thank you, it’s a bit early for me, but I’ll have a gin and tonic”.
A recent BBC programme revealed how natural remedies like herbal teas can be the answer to many day to day health niggles and concerns.
The main thrust of the programme was to reveal the extent of the money being spent on over the counter medicines.
The shelves of chemists and supermarkets are laden with a bamboozling array of brightly packaged remedies, claiming to treat everything from headaches to athlete’s foot.
A similar dazzling array is repeated in the bathroom cabinets of many homes.
So convinced are people of their efficacy that we now spend £2.5 billion annually in the U.K. on over-the-counter medicines and multi vitamins.
Dr Chris van Tulleken was the presenter and investigator into common complaints and the top selling products designed to treat them.
His research involved finding what happens when they are taken and he also undertook to be a human guinea pig to test them.
His conclusions are surprising and could save you a fortune.
One alarming example he gave was of 3 separate oral pain killer products, each containing the same active ingredient and potency, and all with the same product licence, meaning they were identical inside the packaging, but claiming to treat three different parts of the body - Muscle. Headache, or Period Pain.
He said once the medication entered the blood stream it was impossible for it to home in on specific areas. It goes where the blood goes.
It does not have a built in sat nav, or can ask the way.
Dr Tulleken swallowed a tiny pill sized camera followed by a pain killer tablet which could be seen dissolving in the stomach. Not for the squeamish, but fascinating.
From this test the doctor was able to confirm that the pain killer ingredient was spread evenly through his body. In his words - "There is as much in my big toe as there is in my head"
He said this could potentially lead to dangerous over dosing, because if someone was unfortunate enough to suffer pain in the 3 areas at the same time and took a dose for each - then!!!!
Also, 3 products in the cabinet where 1 would do.
The Cold War started soon after the end of the second world war, when the communist east, led by the Soviet Union, and the Western world, led by the United States and its NATO allies, faced each other across what became known as the ‘Iron Curtain’.
The super powers Russia and America often tested each other’s nerve with threats to escalate the nuclear arms race.
One-upmanship was also practised, and around Valentine time one year it was alleged Russia sent an order to America for 10 million 16inch condoms.
delivered them – labelled - Small.
Condom cartoon Image credit dreamstime.com
Old codger tawny port image credit blog.b-21.com/buy-wine-online/
Doctor I’ll have a gin Image credit google free to use even commercially.
Med nav Image credit aquatic7
Resteem Image screenshot
Up vote Image screenshot
Verify Photo Image Craig
This post has been ranked within the top 25 most undervalued posts in the first half of Feb 11. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $4.73 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.
See the full rankings and details in The Daily Tribune: Feb 11 - Part I. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in our initial post.
If you are the author and would prefer not to receive these comments, simply reply "Stop" to this comment.
You're looking good, Mister Cinnamon Swirl, nice pic!
I agree, too many meds. It's much better to use as many natural products, foods and remedies as possible. Stay strong!
Thank you kenny-crane.
I did expect the post to do better.146 votes yielding $1.56 is puzzling. Thought I understood the connection between votes and dollar rewards but no ?
Never mind.It's Saturday.Cinnamon Swirl day,and I've just enjoyed one with a coffee while studying today's race meetings. Pleased I can watch in the warm,because it's icy cold and trying to snow.
Cheers
Ivor.
It's not really how many votes you get, but who the voters are. There are some people here with lots of money invested in the platform and they hold a lot of their investment in Steem Power, which gives them the ability to increase a post's payout much more than those with little Steem Power.
These people with a lot of Steem Power are called Whales, and I think one or more may notice you at some point, so keep up the excellent posting and see what happens! It's a little like betting on the ponies; some posts/horses do better than how they look on paper, and some do worse. Study the steemit system if you have time and interest, or just post for fun! :-)
Stay warm and enjoy your pastry, and may all your bets and posts be winners!
I've just noticed kenny-crane,that you have given me a tip of 10,000 Steem. Many thanks for your kind thought and gift. Best regards.Ivor
This really is fascinating.Thank you kenny-crane. I'm so glad I found steemit.The more I discover,the more I think it is for me. It's so challenging. A motivator I thought was lost with age,but maybe,I hope maybe, just rusty. Best wishes. Ivor.
Up voted and followed.
You're awesome. :-) I hope when I am 90 that I can take to a new groundbreaking technology and do as well as you are.
Thank you for your cheering words.I am lucky because I was working for a company that had an early computer. It was big and had a room to itself. I then bought one of the early home desktop models, an Amstrad. I also enjoyed reading 'The Story of Microsoft'. How Bill Gates saw the potential whilst writing programmes for his college punch tape machine. Cheers Ivor@90
Saluton again. You are a gifted writer. I realy would like to see some musing from your side about nutrition and of course longelivity :-)
Greetings and thanks Johano. I do like writing but sometimes it just flows and other times I struggle.I will give my thoughts and own approach to live long and contented in future posts. Best wishes.Ivor.
Great I look forward learning from you.