Eating Disorder Recovery Is Possible.

Our society is obsessed with weight loss. Praises thinness. As a society we are constantly on a quest for the quickest, easiest way to loose those shameful energy stores.

Have you ever remarked on someones weight loss? Of course you have, we all have, and I'm sure you said it with the best of intentions. A compliment.

If you said this to a person with an eating disorder, or in recovery from an eating disorder, a comment on their physical appearance could be enough to strengthen their disordered cognition or indeed trigger a relapse.

It is completely acceptable in society to comment on weight loss. Imagine if someone were to comment on an individual having gained a few. That would be rude!

Our obsessed culture worships thinness. Thinness we are sold as success. Why is it then that someone with an eating disorder feels completely isolated and ashamed. They walk a dangerous fine line between the reinforced notion of thinness success, and the private shame associated with the lengths they go to in order to maintain their eating disorder.

There are many misconceptions about what it is to have an eating disorder, the most popular misconception is that it is about wanting to look like the stars in movies and magazines. Most of the time an eating disorder doesn't even have anything to do with a desire to be attractive.

Another damaging myth is the notion that a person with an eating disorder must be incredibly thin. This is simply not true. This ignorance to what it is to have an eating disorder is potentially very damaging, invalidating and harmful to many suffers. The term Eating Disorder encompasses a number of conditions, in some the individual typically maintains a "normal" or above normal BMI. They all cause potentially serious risk physically, mentally, and socially.

This misconception coupled with the socially accepted thinness quest leaves the sufferer feeling further shame and self loathing, and they often view themselves as eating disorder failures. Even more devastating they often don't come to the attention of health professionals or receive appropriate treatment as there physical appearances do not raise alarm.

So What Can We Do?

Society is not going to change overnight. The multibillion dollar dieting industry is not going to stop telling you that you will be happier if you are skinny, and that fat people are sad.

What we can do is change the dialog we have in our daily interactions.

Go beyond the physical. Challenge ideas that people express about your body, their body, and the body myth rather than absorb their notions.

There is so much more to life than abstract numbers on a scale that apparently dictate success, and represent control , self respect and happiness.

If you are supporting someone through recovery. Don't discuss shape, numbers, or physical appearance. Just don't.

If you have a meal with them , FINISH YOUR MEAL. Usually a person in recovery is following a meal plan that requires them to complete the meal. If you don't finish yours it can be very hard for them. Strong opinions about whether the food is good or bad is also unhelpful. Eating disorder thoughts are highly complex and even the most well intended comment can cause distress during meal times.

An eating disorder serves a purpose often far removed from food whatsoever. It is much more often about emotional regulation, control, grief, trauma, and coping.

For these reasons it is not that different from other coping strategies that develop over time. Just as the occasional drink once a calming stratagy can grow to a problem, an eating disorder was also once someones coping strategy. That strategy just like a substance has now become the problem itself.

Never Forget Recovery Is Possible.

People with eating disorders are high achieving, intelligent, amazing individuals. They are not self centred fashionistas, they are often self judging but otherwise brilliant capable individuals.

Many more people suffer from these illnesses than are receiving treatment.

Wouldn't it be great if together we could start to shift the focus. If we could consider changing our body type as ludicrous as changing our shoe size.

Promote a healthy life balance. Health and nutrition are not about thinness. Thinness does not equal happiness.

In recovery happiness means being able to meet a friend for coffee, going out for dinner, attending a family function, eating popcorn at the movies, or chocolate without needing to compensate or punish yourself later.

You won't know if you are speaking to someone with an eating disorder when you make that seemingly benign remark about their body. So maybe try not saying it.

There is so much more to all of us than the composition of our bodies.

While you are at it. Think about your own internal dialog. Do you say unkind things to yourself? Thank your beautiful amazing body for carrying you through this life, and be kind to it.

Give yourself a break.

Perfection is a deception and a trap that never leads to happiness.