The Worst Year on Record

As I mentioned in my IntroduceYourself, I am going through a divorce. I know it may be cliché at this point to say that 2017 was the worst year ever, but here are some of the highlowlights of my last few months of life.

1. In April, I resigned from a well-paying job at a respected animation company to open my own studio with a business partner;
2. On June 16, I discovered that my wife had been having an affair since February;
3. I realized that I had a very large jewfro, about 40 extra pounds, and an unhealthy attitude toward life, so on June 17, I went to Rudy’s Barbershop, cut off all of my hair, and became vegan;
   
4. Late June: my wife and I tried to make our marriage work and started couples’ therapy;
5. mid-July: I found out my wife was still having the affair and I moved out of my house and began living in AirBnBs;
   a. I lived in a total of 3 different AirBnBs between July and October and spent an exorbitant amount of money on them in addition to my home mortgage, and other living expenses;
6. In August, my business partner and I realized we should not be in business together, and began arguing about a lot of business practices;
7. In mid-August, my wife and I tried a stint of micro-dosing psychedelic mushrooms and shortly thereafter decided to try an open marriage to see if that would help us (it didn’t.);
   a. I learned a lot while micro-dosing
   i. More on that in an upcoming post!
   b. I learned about the wonders of Tinder and Bumble
   i. More on that in an upcoming post, too!
8. In September, my wife and I got a new couples’ therapist, put an end to the open marriage, and tried to make our marriage work again;
9. In October I moved home while we tried to repair our marriage;
10. Mid-October I discovered (for the 5th time) that my wife was still carrying on the affair with the same dude;
11. We decided to get divorced and my wife moved out of the house;
12. My business partner and I are also basically getting divorced and the business is falling apart;
13. CURRENTLY, I have mountains of debt, but also a new, happy outlook on life, a fledgling animation studio without a business partner, I’m dating one of the coolest people on the face of the planet, @steemit is now in my life, and I’m generally excited for the future!

And that is just the brief bullet points of what has been, without a doubt, the shittiest year in @gasgiant's life. There's a lot to unpack there. And most of it, from the luxurious vantage of hindsight, is hilarious. Living it was absolute hell.

In this post, I’m going to talk about the decisions I made about my personal life, and my refrigerator, between June 16 and 17, 2017.

THE DISCOVERY

On June 16, 2017 I sent a text to my wife and asked if she wanted me to pick up anything for dinner on the way home from work. She didn’t respond. I arrived home before her that day. I was writing on a TV show at the time, so I sat down to write until she came home. An hour or so went by when I was pulled from the depths of my computer screen by a sudden, fierce urge to urinate. I walked out of my office and my wife was sitting at the dining room table, finishing a salad.

“I didn’t know you were home. Did you get my text about dinner,” I asked?

She said she hadn’t. Earlier that day she traded in her iPhone 6 for an iPhone 7 and she said she wasn’t receiving messages--that it had been happening all day. She asked me to make sure she set it up right. I looked at her phone, went into setting to see if her iCloud was connected, when a text popped on the screen:

”Hey baby 😍”

I opened the full message. And I read it all.

Their exchange only went back a couple days, she had deleted the previous messages.

I was absolutely sideswiped. Our marriage wasn’t perfect, but I just didn’t see it coming. At all.

I asked questions. I couldn’t sleep. I laid awake all night.

THE DECISION

I watched time move until 9am and then drove to Rudy’s Barbershop and asked them to cut my hair. I was feeling unattractive, fat, lazy. There's something about finding out that you've been being cheated on for months that makes you want to do whatever you can to feel hot.

On the way home, I decided to become vegan. I cannot remember how I came to the decision. I knew I needed to lose weight. I knew that I had been eating a lot of meats, cheeses, breads, pastas, and a pile of other garbage that was just plain bad for you. I knew that a lot of the vegan ladies I knew were attractive.

Some of my weirdo LA friends had also recently started the Paleo diet. I thought how sexy they thought they all were. So I became paleo-vegan. I cut out all grains. All gluten.

I started exercising.

In the 5 months proceeding the discovery of the affair, I lost a total of 42 lbs. It wasn't easy. It was painful at times. It was kinda fun other times.

BEFORE AND AFTER

It's been a crazy few months filled with emotions and vegetables. But I truly feel like myself for the first time in a very long time. I feel healthy and attractive again.

And so, with that in mind, I thought I'd share a recipe for a gluten-free, vegan noodle kugel that I found. I've made it now 5 times for dinner parties. It's delicious. Let me know if you try it out and I hope you enjoy!

VEGAN NOODLE KUGEL RECIPE

If you've never had a kugel, think: rice-pudding-meets-mac-and-cheese.

I know that actually doesn't sound very appetizing, but trust me. It's freaking delicious.

Ingredients

• 8 oz GF brown rice spiral noodles
• 1/2 cup vegan margarine, melted
• 1/2 cup Vegan Gourmet Sour Cream
• 1/2 cup Vegan Gourmet Cream Cheese
• 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
• 12 oz firm tofu (NOT silken). crumbled
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/4 cup raisins
• 1 tsp ground cinnamon

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees, lightly oil a 9×9 inch baking dish
2. Bring a large pot of water to boil. Cook noodles according to directions on package. Drain and set aside
   In a large bowl, combine melted margarine, sour cream, cream cheese, applesauce, tofu, sugar, and vanilla. Stir in cooked noodles and raisins
3. Pour into baking dish, sprinkle top with cinnamon
4. Bake uncovered for 1 hour. If still not set, bake for additional 10-15 or all liquid is drawn out.

My Notes:

• I used Trader Joe's Brown Rice and Quinoa Fusilli to cut down on the amount of rice, because paleo.
• I used Toffutti brand vegan cream cheese and sour cream
• I found that I had to cook the kugel another 30 mins-1 hour to fully cook away all of the liquid.
• Each time I've made it, everyone has devoured it. To the last drop. Like blood vultures.

WEIGHT LOSS

I can write up and post exactly what I did in order to lose so much weight so quickly. Is that something you'd all like to see and give a try? Let me know!

The Kugel recipe and kugel photograph is from Follow Your Heart and is courtesy of Jackie Horrick