CONSTIPATION NATION

in #health7 years ago (edited)

In my intro to Steemit, I touched a bit on my career in the health and fitness industry as well as being an entrepreneur/freelancer.

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(Started from the bottom...

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now I'm here)

Over the years, no matter my position, the majority of clients contacted me because they couldn’t take a shit. True story!

Please don’t think my clients were full of shit. By no means, well... ok let me rephrase that, they were physically full of it. Ok, ok, this article isn’t exactly turning out how I planned, so enjoy the unintentional puns here and there.

As I was saying, many of my clients suffered from constipation. In fact, constipation is a huge problem for most people and it’s why over the counter laxatives are a very lucrative business. So, if you’re looking to make some money off of Steemit, go to a lab and whip up your own laxative. Just kidding! Please don’t do that. We don’t need any more drugs out on the market.

Most drugs don’t address the root cause. People want instant gratification, and so they resort to these pills and potions without a second thought of a more natural approach. So, what can you do to relieve constipation immediately if it’s not a drug?... first, let’s address the root cause.

The root cause of your constipation is your diet. I’m sure you’ve heard high fiber diet, eat your high fiber fruits and veggies blah, blah, blah.

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(My fave fruit, especially here in Thailand, is the Nam Dok Mai Mango.)

While that may be true, the sad truth is, no one really drinks water these days.

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(Bad example here. Unfortunately, it's difficult to avoid plastic here in Thailand. Please refrain from drinking water in plastic bottles.)

Water has taken a back seat to drinks like soda, and sugary beverages like juices etc. I’ve even had clients tell me they don’t drink water at all. That’s so scary for me to hear. Our bodies are made up of mostly water, so not hydrating yourself is very dangerous. I can write an entire article on that alone, but since I know people these days are about that instant gratification, I won’t lay out all the science and research here today. Let’s get down to solve this shitty situation.

When you don’t drink enough water you can’t move your shit along. So you can eat all the fiber in the world, but if you’re not drinking enough water, you’re just building a shit pile in your intestines. How much water do you ask? The answer is... DRINK ONLY WATER!!!!

There are a few exceptions to that rule of course, but you get the idea right? Water should be your only beverage of choice on a daily basis. Things like green smoothies, or fresh pressed juices are absolutely amazing! But should NEVER replace your water intake. A nice liter of water upon waking in the morning will make a huge change in your life. I promise!

What about the blah blah blah fiber? Eat that too! The combination of water and fiber... that’s your natural laxative right there. What makes this different than a laxative pill you ask? Well, unlike a pill (which will weaken your intestinal wall over time) the high fiber foods will scrub your intestinal wall as it passes through. This helps to prevent things like polyps from building up in your colon which can cause cancer, and no one wants that in their colon. You know why? Because colon cancer is fucking fatal.

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(Aim for a big salad every day. This is my salad from a restaurant called salad concept)

So, if you hung with me this far... we’ve got tons of water and fiber. Now what? What if you need to shit right now and can’t? But you don’t want to take a laxative because you know that depending on it will lead to a weak intestinal wall which means in later years you’ll lose control of your intestines and shit yourself involuntarily because you didn’t want to drink water and eat some damn broccoli. So what do you do? Make yourself a beet juice!

I personally owe so much of my return to life from disease to beets and pineapples, as well as some other things, but beets and pineapples played a major role.

Beets are high in antioxidants, it’s a powerful anti-inflammatory (which have been known to aid in the reduction of painful symptoms associated with autoimmune diseases), high in vitamins and fiber, I could go on forever. Beets are amazing! They are also a very strong detoxifier.

I’ve been asked.. “can I just eat beets?” Sure you can, but if you need to shit immediately, you will not want to eat beets as a remedy. Why?! Because your body will need to digest all that fiber along with anything else you’ve consumed before it’ll help even a little bit. Remember, if you’re not drinking water and eating fiber, you’re just creating a shit like in your intestines. Lots of water and big salads. Salads don't have to be boring. I mean look at mine.

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(Medicine in a bowl. Seriously!)

What you need is a nice beet juice. Here’s my go-to recipe that’ll help you get the job done in a naturally delightful and delicious manner.

You will need a juicer. If you’d like my recommendations, I’d be happy to write an article on the best juicers that are worth your hard-earned cash. Now, let's get into it!

POOP JUICE (just roll with it):

1 large are 2 small beets (peel the skin because of you don’t, it’ll taste like dirt.) cut into small pieces of your juicer calls for that. I RECOMMEND TO START WITH ONE BEET AND WORK YOUR WAY TO 2 IF YOU DON’T GET IMMEDIATE RESULTS, AS THEY ARE POWERFUL DETOXIFIERS AND I WOULD HATE FOR YOU TO SHART YOURSELF.

1/2 a lemon (or 1 whole lemon if you dare. I say... be a daredevil.)

1 or 2 apples of your choice. I used red delicious because they’re delicious damn it! Golden delicious is just great in this recipe.

1 or 2 carrots

1 big handful of spinach

Drink this all of you, for this is my poop juice and it will bring you great relief and joy!

Pour it into a beautiful glass container, makes the experience that much more enjoyable. For me, being in Thailand, a VOSS bottle was as glamorous as it got here.

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All jokes aside, I promise you’ll enjoy the immediate and great benefits of this fresh juice recipe.

I will add a smoothie version of this in the very near future. For now, drink and be merry.

My articles here on Steemit will be to get to the point and provide instant gratification to your health questions and concerns. No bro science, or guru babble, just my experience with myself and clients. Consider me your crash test dummy, but for good measure let’s include a disclaimer. You know the shit you have to say to cover your ass, but don’t cover your ass because you know... then you can’t shit. Ok, ok, enough of the shitty jokes.

Disclaimer: The contents of my articles are not meant to be used to diagnose or treat any medical condition. For diagnosis or treatment of any medical condition see a white coat with a badge that spent years in medical school with less than 24 hours of nutritional education.

I know you’ll get some relief from my article, especially if you apply it to your daily lifestyle. In fact, I guarantee it.

If I’ve helped you get out of a shitty situation, please make sure to show me by resteeming and showing me some love in the comments.

Let’s share the magical love of beets and make constipation nation obsolete.

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