Dear Diary: I Thought That I Was Dying Last Night So I Prayed
Last night for no reason at all my heart pumped so fast as if I was being chased by a dog, it was unusual because I am sweating considering that the weather is cool. I thought that maybe my blood sugar is low and that I am just experiencing hunger but my hands are not shaking and I was close to fainting.
It might be that I am having a heart attack but there is no chest or arm pain so I ruled that out. It could be I thought was those bananas that I ate last night but I am newly dialyzed so my potassium level shouldn't be causing my heart to stop.
I also thought that this might be "it" so I prayed to God and asked for forgiveness one more time before I die. LOL I was contemplating to text my brother about my account passwords and keepkey BTC hardware wallet and how to access it but I thought that let them find for themselves I wouldn't care anyway when I am dead.
I was also contemplating on how the way I look when I die, they way I will be set up in the coffin because I do not want to be displayed like a freak on my body's wake one last time obviously because of my ridiculously ugly appearance which really bother's me even after I departed.
So I decided to just call it a day and tried to sleep, at that time my heart slowly just relaxed a bit. Fortunately I had a good sleep and unfortunately I didn't die, which sucks.
Now here I am again chasing money and how I can improve my well-being. I thank God for this another day in my life.
I'm not an expert, but it sounds like a heart palpitation. They're very common and can have many different causes. Maybe it was due to that protein shake!
It's a very sad subject and my heart goes out to you. But you write in a very entertaining way about your difficulties.
Yes maybe the protein shake or just maybe my system is already showing signs of underlying heart condition @natubat
Glad you are okay now, but that does sound concerning! You should definitely bring it up next time you're at the doctors. Sometimes if my blood sugar is low I don't always get the shakes, for me it depends on how fast it comes down.
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It is worrisome for me to be aware that I am dying, I just want death to come as a surprise.
That's true. I had a near death experience when I was first in the hospital for DKA when I was first diagnosed with diabetes. It was a really strange experience but it made me a lot more at ease with death. Whether it comes as a surprise or not, it's nothing to worry or stress about. When I was "dead" it was kind of a relief because I was struggling a lot to live up until that moment (couldn't stand, in and out of consciousness, extreme gasping for air, etc). During that time outside of this dimension I waited around for a long time wondering if I was really dead when finally a voice spoke to me and said "it's not your time" and I woke up back in the hospital. Ever since I am always grateful for the time I still have on earth but sometimes there are days where it doesn't seem worth it anymore. We just have to stay strong and trust that there is a reason for our lives to continue on... 🤗
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That must have been very scary feeling dear friend, but I am glad you are OK and we get to chat with you.
God has you here for a reason so don't give up.