Dear Diary: Eating Only Twice Per Day Is Better For Me

It is really frustrating ,I tried eating at least three times per day but I really can't as food seems to fill me up for an extended period of time which means after eating I am not wanting anymore food for more than a day and I can wait until the next day.

When I was not having a poor appetite issue I could eat normally but it makes me get heavy with water faster. So I ended up having a backlog of water not being able to drawn out entirely because my dialysis center has only limited me with only a total of 4 kilos per session.

So my poor appetite had made me eat less and it just meant that I would drink less as well making my pre-dialysis weight not to exceed the limit that my dialysis center had made for me.

I reckon that eating less is better for me since I could not get fat anyway and it seems that eating just overloads my body of foods to process since my body is weak and to make matters worse just is sensitive to lactose as well making me stay away from dairy products including cheese.

I am just filling up my calorie requirement which I really could not by drinking canned pineapple juice. It also makes me have some get some fiber too.

I also feel less guilty when I eat like an insect because I do not have to worry about having a high creatinine, the toxic substance that makes dialysis patient crazy unless they get dialyzed soon. So having to eat less makes me produce less creatinine.

That technique as I would call it would also make me less susceptible from heart disease caused by coronary artery blockage and my phosphate binder helps me also with that by lowering my LDL (bad cholesterol) which is shown in my last LDL test. That is the reason why I am not feeling anything about my heart except having a high blood pressure but that is mainly due to my extra water in my body.

Eating now is just for me to survive my day and that is why I am not feeling excited when some sort of food is around and I am not looking at food like the same as before especially with this damn appetite, the price that I have to pay just to prevent my body into transforming into a miseried ghoul hiding in this ugly uncomfortable room that I cannot get away from. May God have mercy on my soul.