To other steemians, please lower your expectations. Take a break away from steemit when you can if you feel it is getting unhealthy. Or even, better just do not come. Steemit is based on esteem. It would be totally ironic if steemit rewards or number of upvotes hits your self-esteem real hard.
Don't let your self esteem depends on your payouts or number of upvotes.
If you have make some new steemian friends who appreciates your work, i think it is good enough. At least, it is for me to find some new steemian friends who have common interest in science, academia and the chinese people which keeps me going. Without them, frankly speaking, i would have left altogether.
Also, if you are not successful here, remember that it does not mean that you will not be successful in other paid-to-post platforms.