i feel your indiference.
the proximiy of death opened my eyes in a different way. at first i had to ignore/lose the irrelevant things (the most part are the things that make a society function) and consume all of life. after a while i realized that this pure consumption did not satisfy me. so i went into indifferent mode. there i saw that we make the meaning of things. with this knowledge i've come back from flatland (no good no bad). flatland is a shelter too attend your wounds. you can see everything from there but feel so little.
it's a unique experience being indifferent. i agree with you,it is like toughness, but have to disagree too. if you don't feel the pain you cannot be tough. you are absent.
for everyone experiencing this i hope you come back.