First: Happy New Year, and I wish you a great and productive year!
I can only say that these things is always so sad to hear. So sad with so little love for yourself and maybe depression and anxiety as well. Life passes fast and is valuable but in such hard times it’s not possible to see that.
But I’m so happy for you and for the fact you have found something really meaningful in your life! So glad to have you here my friend.
Much love ❤️