Why You Shouldn't Fake It Until You Make It

I have made a mistake, in some of my past posts I wrote that the first step of the recovery process is honesty. As a result of some recent experience I do no longer hold that to be truth, It takes humility to even admit in the first place that you have been living your life on fake values and you are partially responsible of your sufferance.

Telling people to be honest with themselves and the rest of the world is like telling them that they have to feel full without telling them that they have to eat first. The first step to take if you are in a tough place and you want to rehabilitate yourself is to humble yourself.

I am sure you heard the age old wisdom "fake it until you make it!", the problem with this is that by faking it you are not becoming it. If you are going to practice to be fake for years and years, you are going to get very good at being fake.

Under the assumption that when you are going to have enough and have built the skills you are after you can relax and become authentic. This is delusional you will never have enough and there is always something to learn. If you wait to be in a favorable situation to don't embarrass yourself you will never be authentic so by faking who you are, you are actually trapped in a vicious cycle.

In order to master something you will have to practice it which means failing over and over again, If you think that you are great in the beginning and you deserve to accomplish your goals easy. You won't work hard enough and feel entitle, when you experience failure which is just the natural process of learning.

Being very reassuring with yourself and assertive it is a symptom of incompetence, according to the Dunning-Kruger effect people who are poor performers almost always overestimate their performance, while people who are good performers underestimate their performance.

To humble yourself you have to be humiliated, not in an abusive way by other people or in a masochistic way, humiliated by the life itself in order to realise the true nature of it and find your true nature as well.

You humble yourself by failing at what do you believe in, trough the process of learning you experience failure over and over again, so you realize that you are not special or immune to anything, everything can happen to you good or bad. Because of that no matter what your accomplishments you stay modest because you are never too good to fail or relapse.