The Story of a Night Awake with My Daughter! #177

We have a choice about what story we tell in each situation. How does the power of choosing what story we tell make a huge impact in our lives just by defining how we see what happened?

After spending most of the night last night awake with my daughter in her room, I am grateful today that I choose to tell a story of gratitude instead of suffering!

Would you read this story because learning how to take control of the story we tell gives us all the power we have in our lives?

Thank you for enjoying day 177 of Happier People Podcast.

The Story of a Night Awake with My Daughter!

We have a choice about what story we tell in any situation. The question is how does the power of choosing what story we tell allow us to make a huge impact in our lives just by seeing how we define what happened?

I'm laying now on the floor where I spent most of the night last night. This is in my daughter's room, this is over by her crib.

Thank God, my wife thought to set the truck blanket up right here by my daughter's crib so that we could lay here when she's having a hard night.

Last night, she had woken up at about 1:00 in the morning after my wife and I went to bed at about 11:00, and my daughter had a hard time going back to sleep. She's about two years old and I have no idea what the cause was.

My wife was up with her from sometime around 1:00 in the morning till about 3:30 or so, then she came to bed and said, “I need help. I can't do it anymore. I'm too tired.”

I got up and came in here, and I spent most of the last six hours right here on the floor with my daughter. I had a wonderful time doing it. The key part of that is the story.

The stories I told related to this is what defined the experience.

I told stories of how grateful I was to spend this time with my daughter: "Thank God, my daughter needs me. I'm useful, I'm helpful, she needs me, I got to hold her hand for hours last night. It was wonderful."

Just telling the story in a bit different way would completely change that experience.

If instead I told the story about: “God, I can't believe this happened. Why is she up in the middle of the night? It's not fair. I don't know if I'm going to be able to work in the morning. I might be too tired. Is this going to start happening every night? Why couldn't my wife have stayed up with her longer? Why couldn't my daughter just fall asleep? What a drag? I have plenty of time with her tomorrow. I don't need this in the middle of the night. It’s going to disrupt my work. It's not fair. Why me? I'm too cold. This floor hurts.”

You see, all those stories make what even just describing, it sounds like a negative experience.

What I've learned is I've got a choice in how I tell the story. I didn't have a choice that my daughter woke up in the middle of the night. I realize this is a fairly minor thing, but this is the exact same way that everything else happens.

This same basic strategy could apply to anything, from something even more minor like the smallest annoyance, spilling a little bit of water on a shirt, or it could happen to something big like a friend or a family member passing on.

The story we tell has a huge power on how we experience life. When we say, "thank you," the story tends to go pretty well. I remember laying on the blanket here last night next to the crib, holding my daughter's hand as my hand is stuck awkwardly into the crib.

I remember saying, “Thank God. Thank God, I have time to spend with my daughter. This is quality time with my daughter. She really needs me right now. She's in the middle of the night, I don't know if she was scared or lonely. She really needs me and it's nice to be needed."

I'm thankful that my wife thought to put this blanket in here because when I first started doing this strategy of laying on the floor with my daughter, there was no blanket. There was no blanket on the floor, this pillow wasn't in here.

This other big Mario blanket down here wasn't there either.

It was just laying straight on the carpet, which again, could be different. It could be outside on the leaves in the rain, it could be on a plush mattress or something.

It was just on the carpet before with this little tiny cow pillow.

That's when I first started doing this months ago. I just laid here in my underwear, in the cold house with this little tiny blanket on, this little tiny pillow and I still had great joy in doing that.

I thanked God, I said, “This is a lot more comfortable than it used to be. It's really nice. I had a wonderful time laying on the floor next to my daughter in the crib."

One thing that can help with this is beginning with the end in mind and this is a frequent exercise meditation I do. I think about from the point of my deathbed at 150 years old when I'm laying in the bed, what would I like to experience this moment that I'm in now from that point of view?

From that point of view, I am extremely grateful for just any moment to be with my daughter. That means whether it's in the middle of the night at 3:30, 4:00 or 5:00 in the morning, or whether it's in the middle of the day when she's crying and upset, or whether she's having a great time and running around, or whether I'm coloring with her.

Any moment is equally great and that story has a huge impact on the experience. The story of:"Thank you, thank God for this comfort in here. What remarkable comfort to have in the middle of the night!

That story makes a big difference instead of, when I went to Virginia Tech, I slept on the floor there in approximately the same accommodations. I visited the Army ROTC, I had a scholarship after that I'd intended to accept and after a night on the floor at Virginia Tech, I said, “No. That was too uncomfortable. How dare they make me sleep on the floor?”

I remember tossing and turning all night thinking how stupid and uncomfortable it was, and afraid I was going to be tired the next day. “How dare they give me this sleeping bag on the floor? Can't someone find me a real bed somewhere?”

The story we tell makes a huge difference. The story we tell can change a situation that I laughed at last night because I could so easily picture this situation the exact scenario being miserable with a different story.

I'm at work right now laying on the floor filming a video, "I'm at work. Thank you. Thank you for making that possible."

I am extremely grateful this is possible, which is what motivates me to share with you something that I hope has fantastic power in your life. This is huge. This little thing I'm sharing laying on the floor next to my daughter's crib has huge power.

I'll show you what it looks like in the opposite, so you can feel it for a minute.

Let's feel the energy, let's feel how it feels to tell this story a different way.

Let's picture me instead being at work, and I did this a ton of times, a lot of times, just a bunch of times.

I was at work talking about something, complaining about, "You know, the major, he's really got his head up his rear end. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Yes, he ought to do this. He ought to change this policy and I ought to be able to do that. He should be able to do this. She doesn't know what she's talking about. I can't believe they just let her collect a paycheck. Oh yes, the sergeant, he's really out to get me. I don't know why he does this."

Now, picture that exact same scenario put into this story.

Let's just translate how I used to behave, and then frequently be miserable needing to drown my feelings in alcohol and other addictions too like gambling or sex.

Let's picture this exact scenario where I spent the night on the floor with my daughter.

Let's tell the story and feel how the energy is in the way I used to do it.

Picture that I'm back at work and I've got a co-worker.

Me: “Oh God. You know what happened last night?”

Co-worker: “What?”

Like the co-worker really cares what happened last night.

The co-worker is really just hoping to get their turn in to tell their own story.

Co-worker: "What? What, Jerry? What happened last night?"

Me: “Well, God, my daughter wakes up at 2:00 in the morning. I mean, come on, can't she wait till 3:00 or 4:00, or something? She wakes up way early in the morning. We just went to bed at 11:00 at night."

"She's two years old, she should be over this. Shouldn't she? Come on. So she wakes up, my wife slept with her for an hour or two. I don't know, but she has time for a nap later if she wants. I have to work."

"My wife goes in there and she only is in there for a couple hours, then she comes back in and she can't handle it anymore. She has to wake me up, but God, doesn't she know I've got to get up and work in the morning?"

"Then I go in there and of course my daughter is screaming for her mother: 'Mommy, mommy.' Why do I even need to be up for this? My wife could’ve just stayed in there and no, no, I have to go in here and deal with this.”

"Then I lay on the floor and what she wants to do, she wants to hold my hand and my hand is just in these bars, and it's so uncomfortable. I'm laying on this floor. Why am I laying on this floor when I have a bed in the next room that's so comfortable? It doesn't make any sense. God, why me? Why me?"

"Of course, my daughter doesn't want to just fall asleep, she wants to talk to me: 'Daddy, daddy.' It's 4:00 in the morning, I don't want to talk right now, I just want to sleep. I’ve got to work in the morning. Don’t you understand? No, you don't because you're two years old.”

"Then, it's just miserable because I'm just like thinking how tired I'm going to be for work the next day and what a drag. I got this stupid thing coming up later. Then she finally falls asleep, and then I'm so tired, and this floor is so miserably uncomfortable."

"My neck keeps hurting, I have to keep tossing and turning. I don't think I got 10 minutes of sleep. Then she wants to get up in the morning and immediately have me get up, God.”

"Then my wife comes in, is hurrying her off, and then God, I have to get to work right away. Now I'm going to be late. What a miserable morning, man! I didn't sign up for this, being a parent. After two years they should be sleeping properly, right? God, I hope this crap doesn't happen again tonight because I don't know if I'm going to be able to take it.”

Wow! I feel like I just spewed out, did you hear that?

That's how I used to sound. That's the story I used to tell almost every day about something.

Did you hear the difference between the story I told first, and then retelling it a different way?

Now, that is completely within my power. No one gets to dictate. I can let people dictate, but no one gets to dictate the stories I tell. That felt horrible, just telling it the second way. Telling it like "poor me," what a victim I am because my beautiful daughter woke up in the middle of the night and needed my help. It was wonderful and that's how I got to experience it.

I experienced it as wonderful, but you see, if I would have sat there, this is a choice we have each moment, how we tell our stories. If I would have told the story the way I just told it to you, I would not be happy. I'm fantastically happy this morning. I'm very grateful to be alive and be here to have this to share today, and you know that.

If you are watching the video, you can hear it in my voice and you can see it in my face. Even though you're not actually here in the room as I'm creating this, you can feel how I feel about the story I'm telling.

We each have the power to decide what story we're telling. All you have to do is just try telling a story a different way and see how it feels. See how it feels to tell a story from another point of view.

Now, in some situations, you may have your car at the dealer and they're telling you it's going to be $300, and you just don't know another way to tell the story besides how miserable it is and that's where it takes asking for help. It takes finding someone who has the energy we want, the love and the positivity. It might take a call with a friend or a family member.

I could have just called up a family member this morning perhaps and said, “Look, I've complained all night about staying up on my daughter, how do I tell a nice story, how do I tell a story I want to experience to be in the middle of?”

Then, that family member likely would have told me the same thing.

“Well, aren't you grateful you got to spend the night with your daughter? Think about all the dads out there who don't get to see their daughters, who've never even met their daughters or who don't get to spend time with their daughters. Think about all the dads who would have given anything to have a night on the floor and hold their daughter's hand.”

I think of that now because I am connected with other people. This is the normal way I think now because I've learned it from other people as I learned how to tell all those negative stories from other people as well.

It takes intentionally looking at how someone else is living their lives sometimes and saying, “Oh, okay, that's how he's interpreting this. That's how I want to interpret it too."

That's why I do this video, that's why I call it Happier People Podcast, so that it's possible for you wherever you're at in the world to learn for free with no email signup and no BS. You can learn for free how I tell stories in my life, how I live a life today that I love and I'm very grateful for, and I'm full of joy at every situation.

Every single moment is not utter pure joy and bliss, but 99% of it is. The other 1% is even a joy to experience, sometimes a little bit of sadness, misery and frustration just for variety, because then I come back right away with another lesson to tell. We each have this power of story in every single thing that happens to us every single day, we have the choice of what story we're going to tell about it.

I'm extremely grateful to be here with you this morning.

I love you, you're awesome.

I appreciate you going through my podcast or my posts on Steemit, or my YouTube videos, or my Facebook videos, wherever you're seeing this.

Thank you very much to my friend Jimmy Cuccurullo. He asked about motivation and this story I choose to tell is a huge part of how I get motivated.

The story I told this morning is, “Man, I've got a perfect video ready to make based on what happened last night.” Thank you for that and that's how I'm so motivated. I love you. I'll see you later.

I hope you enjoyed this episode of Happier People Podcast, which was originally filmed as the video below in my daughter's bedroom.

I appreciate you being here and I hope you have a wonderful day today.

If you found this post helpful on Steemit, would you please upvote it and follow me because you will then be able to see more posts like this in your home feed?


Jerry Banfield with edits by @gmichelbkk on the transcript by GoTranscript

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PS: Would you please make a vote for jerrybanfield as a witness or set jerrybanfield as a proxy to handle all witness votes at because as a top 20 witness I am pledging 80% of my earnings (~$200 a day) to funding our Facebook and Google ads? Thank you to the 1361 accounts voting for me as a witness, the 718 M VESTS assigned from users trusting me to make all witness votes by setting me as proxy, and @followbtcnews for making these .gif images!

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Please stop upvoting this moron scammer! EVERYTHING he is charging people for is available for FREE! DO NOT SUPPORT THE SCAMMER @jerrybanfield!!

While I appreciate your positivity & enthusiasm for co-parenting , I thought you should know I found the post overlong. If I had sent it to my printer, it would be five pages long.
I confess, I started to skim by page two. The mystery was revealed when you credited GoTranscript. Your wonderful gift for gab can be easily converted to text, but still needs an editor with a red pen to slash it down, or format it into more bite-sized chunks.
That said (with love), I will check out more of your podcasts, and consider your request to set you as my proxy....actually, I may have already done that 🤓. There's SO much for me to learn...

Same here, long posts are not appealing to me 😖

Good observation. Probably we should have it in mind: people cannot spend 30 minutes reading our writings! And we have to think also this is global, which means probably there are a lot of people bilingual or speaking more than one language here, meaning English is not their first language. In other words, let's keep it short and sweet.

Valuable and eloquent critique.

Nice post

Always choose love and empower others, especially the kids. Nice

This is a very inspiring man, I really respect his work and what he is doing for the community. I'll vote him up any day.

Feel your pain sir

Awesome post, I really enjoyed it. I hope you appreciate the vote!

Jerry is happy daddy

Every post Jerry is awesome.

I did not know he was married and had a child. Jerry, you are great! I thought you were single. Thank you for all the time you give us. I hope she lets you sleep tonight.

Really great blog!

You look like Jeb from Arrested Developement

lovely post.. great moral and really something i totally understand. How many times have i had to endure hardships that have seemed so terrible at the time.. and looking back i realise i made it 5 times worse than it needed to be... not only that but as we all know .. time slows down drastically when we are hating the moment.. and when we manage to accept it time flies by!..

Attitude is everything.. if there is one thing India taught me it is that!

I just love you!!!!! You are 100% in and so very genuine .. you have consciously learned the secret in radiating happiness .. Its easy to be humble and satisfied in your own skin when you finally get it .. Try crying with a smile on your face (literally, put a huge smile on your face right now and try and cry) .. It does not work!! I love you Jerry for being so AMAZINGLY AWESOME!!! you put a HUGE smile on my fact this morning .. Thank you Friend!! SUNSHINE247

why not taking a girl in your bed with you and your wife - we always do that and works she sleeps and we do too :)

@jerrybanfield - That was an awesome and very REAL story Daddy Banfield! Despite ALL the challenges that come along with raising kids, the rewards FAR outweigh ALL of it!!! Great story! They truly are our greatest teachers and blessings in life!

Amazing post, I truly delighted in it. I trust you value the vote!

Sometimes, we are the cause of our sadness and depression. No matter what we are going through, we have the power to choose the perspective we want to look at it from. This is where optimism and pessimism kicks in. We can choose to look at the bright side of things like @jerrybanfield or to look at the bad parts and complain. The ball is in our courts. Remember, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Nothing is as bad as you think it is. The difference between a happy man and a sad man is their mindset. There's a thin line between being happy and being sad.

Great stuff @jerrybanfield. Resteemed! Let's let all the grumpy dads see this. Your daughter is one lucky kid.

The Story of a Night Awake with My Daughter was a Great story Happy reading this post you got my vl

Hi Jerry, its your fault I'm here. Its my first day today Cooking on Steem.

Interesting blog here, haha it looks like you are lying in prison on your pics.

Thanks for all you great videos and your introduction videos about Steem.

I just liked you and am following you, would be a great day for me if you do the same for me on my first day.

Thanks for the info @jerrybanfield! Upvoted your post but...

Been there, done that.

You're so goofy it's hard to not like you lmao

We were all awake last night. 2 different ways of thinking/reacting with words. I'd call that subtly of speech. It feels better to say it this way. I get that.

Great blog! I can relate haha thanks for sharing I follow you and love your blogs thanks again love kirsty xxx 😍

It's a beautiful thing to co-parent infact,time spent with your kids are priceless.i dont have a mum and i miss times we shared.Now i cherish those moments and dont take them for granted.would give my kids all the attention in the world . you're a great Dad.

Been there before @jerrybanfield it's amazing what goes through your mind when laying next to the cot all night. If you haven't already read the chimp paradox by Stephen Peters, it explains a little more in detail why you think, act and play out different stories.

I like this kind of content. You worked a lot making this post and you will definitely deserve the rewards.

Going back to read it

I agree with you at this @jerrybanfield it's all at how you like at it, in every aspect and experience on life you must enjoy it at full, time is the only asset you can't recover

Good story witness board . . Thankyou for sharing

@jerrybanfield I know that feeling all too well!

Your story is one I grew up hearing from my dad, he would always say its your perspective that matters in any situation... Its how you see things....and it has shaped me in different ways ...choosing to see the best in situations and people ....wonderful story you have shared!

Congratulations @jerrybanfield, this post is the fifth most rewarded post (based on pending payouts) in the last 12 hours written by a Superhero or Legend account holder (accounts hold greater than 100 Mega Vests). The total number of posts by Superhero and Legend account holders during this period was 19 and the total pending payments to posts in these categories was $1079.73. To see the full list of highest paid posts across all accounts categories, click here.

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Jerry you are a great writer for this community. Keep this stories coming, they bring tons a value here.

Super super true! We choose our stories in every single moment. With that, we create either suffering or happiness! And when we fully realize that it is from our power to create that we experience either one of these, we get an experiential understanding of how powerful we are and how our life is in our hands, that we have all responsibility. Seems tough at times, but in the end, most liberating! Thanks for your beautiful story and all the best to you and your lovely family!

best dad :-)

Your are a happy man, Jerry!)

Hi Jerry, How can I set up a time to speak with you for a couple of minutes? Or what is a good email to reach you at?

I think it was a challenge for you, but you took it very well :)

You sure are at the storyteller. A whole load of text just about you sleeping next to your daughter. Where do you get it from, seriously?

Very good post, I hope to have your vote for my work

Great reframing, Jerry!

Awesome post!!!

Quality time is quality time... even in the middle of the night ;) "holding my daughter's hand as my hand is stuck awkwardly into the crib" I remember so many similar moments. Now my kids are teens. You won't regret the time you spent last night. You might be a little tired tomorrow, but you're heart will be full.

This post has been ranked within the top 10 most undervalued posts in the second half of Oct 11. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $91.12 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.

See the full rankings and details in The Daily Tribune: Oct 11 - Part II. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in our initial post.

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He is not only handsome and photogenic, but he is also a good writer...

hahah omg this was such a funny read:)))

Great story! @jerrybanfield I really enjoyed it, followed and i'm going to read your previous posts , where you was hidden from me all this time :D
i'm sorry my upvote give just 0.01$ 😔

wonderful story ..thanks jerry

yup, there are so many things we say to each other but none of them are so important like those we share at 3 am :D

I have followed u,will you please follow me back

Thanks to provide Great New and Useful Information