Thanks for your article. I too was raised around guns. They hung on the wall in the den next to my room. We knew they were off limits unless we were going hunting. We knew the difference between toy guns and real guns. Now as an adult I too own guns. I don't hang them on the wall, rather I keep them in a safe. I like how you said that guns scare you. They scare me too, but in a rational sense. I know they don't just accidentally go off all the time or that they can't be kept safely. I understand that I must treat them as if I would treat and extremely dangerous tool. I also don't let my toddler have access to my chain saw or let him play by himself in the front seat of a running car. These are also things that I own and are extremely dangerous and understand how to make them safe. I treat guns the same way. What scares me is the tremendous responsibility that comes with owning firearms. I also carry periodically. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. What's interesting is how my view of guns changed after I started concealed carrying. I lived In CA for 13+ years and vowed that if I ever moved to a state where I could get a carry permit I would. I moved to MN about 2 years ago and that's just what I did. What I noticed was interesting. The first thing you experience when you start carrying, if you are like me, is that you feel everyone knows that you have a gun. This is extremely uncomfortable. You are also very conscious of the fact that you have a gun on you, you feel it with every step, every turn, every reach for the top shelf in the store. The next thing you do is you start running scenarios. You think, "what if the shooter comes from that way, or from behind me, or what do I do if he or she is on the other side of some by standers". You quickly realize your limitations especially with a hand gun as they are not very accurate over 10-15 yards. Same accuracy goes for cops by the way. You then look around and realize that there are people everywhere. So many chances for a round to find an un intended target. You then look at your wife and kids and think, "what if I fire on the threat, miss, and draw fire back towards my kids or family?". So many things you think about after you start to carry. These are all good things to think about, healthy things to think about if you carry. I have decided that I still should carry, not for the reasons I can think of why I shouldn't but for the reasons I can't think of that I should. I would rather have a chance in hell, than no chance at all. That all being said. What I have decided is that if something ever goes down, I will run at all times if there is a way out and wait for the police. But if I have no other choice, I have a last resort. My 2 cents.
You hit the nail on the head. I had a very similar experience when I first started carrying. I became super aware of it on me, of my limitations, and my responsibility. I know I said it in the post above, but sobering is the best way I could describe it. Thank you!