I wish I had seen this post sooner, there is a lot I could have told you - and an upvote would have been in order, along with a resteem. I've had people close to me die from old-age, illness, murder, and causes I still have not found out because I was not there and no one can tell me what happened. Death happens to every living thing, and when it comes, we always try to deny the reality of the situation. Grieving is something you have to do alone. No one can help you, and the self-help people are pedaling moonshine.