Thank you for your response. Lengthy and thorough, I appreciate it!

I first became somewhat religious in school when a pastor came to explain all the stuff. I just accepted it as a kid because this authoritative figure told it to me, it must be true. But it didn't take long before I started to question most of the things in the bible and it's teachings. There are just so many contradictions in it.

Also, the example of the blind man regaining his sight, that just doesn't happen in modern times. But man is learning to do it with the use of modern science and medicine, implants and gene therapies and such. The god presented in the bible never shows it self. And I am to believe some ancient text that was written by normal men like you and me. Then there is the whole notion of religion being used to control people. If the church posses the power to forgive ones sins and thus grant a blissful afterlife, that would give them immens power. And we just have to look at history to see this is true and that they used this power to gather more and more land and wealth.

As for your personal experiences, I don't doubt you've had them.

But I find it more likely there is a better explanation for those. I too have seen kindness and wickedness in men. But to say these are caused by believe or disbelief in some divine entity is a stretch. Also I find the idea that to be without religion is to be without morals abhorrent. Not believing does not make one a bad or evil person.

How have you felt god's answer during prayer? Words like the desert coming to mind or some scripture could be just you thinking about it, and not some godhead infusing you with those thoughts. I consider the first option much more likely.