Have you ever thought Plant People tend to be a little bit weird? Or are you the weird one, perhaps? I went to a local plant sale event specifically designed to satiate the cravings of so-called Plant Nerds anxiously awaiting the end of winter so they can get their hands dirty and admire their new colors in the garden. There I saw the unique coven of witches, gnomes, and hobgoblins coming out of their botanical bungalows for a bizarre ritual.

Author's Note: As one who grew up in this small town of Lake Oswego, Oregon where the event was held, I can make these quips about these oddball bohemians. "Lake Ego" as we used to call it in the outskirts, is a garden paradise with mansions filled with many retired families. Bragging, story-telling, and exaggerations are part of a timeless tradition here. An art-form, if you will. Style? Not so much.

A quick overview, Plant Nerd Night, as they have been calling this annual event for the past 18 years is a mad rush from beginning to end. You get a goodie bag and a raffle ticket for drawings later on. Vendors present slideshows to showcase new and exotic plant species and cultivars that they have acquired from seeds and cuttings as they ventured to far away places across the world. These vendors sell these unique plants in booths before and after the evening presentations.

The Wait

Believe it or not, some of these nerds had been waiting outside for over 2 hours before the doors opened at 7pm. At 48 degrees F, the Winter cold will tickle the bones.

By the way, there was another line facing the other set of doors. We were wrapped half-way around the entire lawn when I got there an hour early.

I watched the sun set under the blue winter clouds as the older women chatted about a memorable "hellebores lady" from last year's event. Under my feet, I had the odd sensation of sinking. The lawn was saturated with several inches of moss. A dozen worms were crawling out between my shoes as their dungeon dens flooded with mush under the weight of my feet. To stay warm, I had no choice but to dance in place. The worms were crawling away for safety.

The Doors Open

Apologies for this awful photo. It looks exactly how I felt in this moment. Rushed!

As soon as the doors opened, I was handed a goodie bag, and I was suddenly swarmed by a sea of people on all sides. Personally, I like to have a little bit of space around me at all times, so I get a little bit stressed in crowds unless I am comfortable relating to the people around me and my surroundings.

One booth was giving away free trees. Score! Found a coniferous tree. What is it? Stay tuned to the end, and I'll tell you...

All this happened in a span of less than five minutes. I swam downstream to join the rest of the zombie horde in the main room.

Find A Seat

Ever been to a refugee camp? Me neither, but I imagine it looks something like this catastrophe.

A smiling volunteer hands each person a red numbered ticket. Many people will lose these numbers in this mess. They should have given us an armband.

Not a single seat in the entire hall was left unclaimed. Everyone was roaming the aisles in circles aimlessly not sure where their friends went, or where to go.

If I had known things would pan out like this, I might have tried to arrive earlier and rushed into the main room instead of looking at the plants for those precious first five minutes. Although truthfully, there were a lot of elderly people who got most of the seats, and I would have gladly given any of my elders my own seat if I managed to reserve one.

Like the homeless who call the Burnside Bridge their roof, many of us leftover riffraff's decided to stake our claim in the side aisles where we could lean up against the wall, or sit on the floor to rest our tired feet.

Where am I? Lake Oswego? I can't believe it. We're starting to strip our clothing down, because so many people stuffed in one room is getting hot. Standing on my feet is also making my thirsty, so I search for the nearest water fountain. This is not the Lake Oswego paradise I remember from childhood.

The Presentations

The main host for Plant Nerd Night was Mike Darcy. I don't know much about him, but I think he is a member of the Hardy Plants Society of Oregon. They organized this event with volunteers and other local garden nurseries supporting this event.

How do they open the evening? With a song and silly stories. Mike Darcy, thankfully has the charms of a comical Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun and Police Squad). A family member starts playing the theme song to The Flintstones, as strange words appear on the screen for the opening verse.

Lyrics: Nerd Night! Yes, it's Nerd Night!
With your horticulture family.
Come see all the Hort Heads.
It's a page right out of botany.

Later on we got to listen to presentations from various nurseries such as Dancing Oaks Nursery (Monmouth OR), Sebright Gardens (Brooks, OR), N&M Herb Nursery (Hubbard, OR), Rogerson Clematis Collection and Garden (Lake Oswego, OR), and Great Plant Picks (Elisabeth C Miller Botanical Garden, Seattle, WA). It was great to see new varieties of clematis, lupines, dwarf irises, ferns, and unique column-shaped foliage on flowering/color-changing trees to add special interest to the garden.

Also Far Reaches Farm (Port Townsend, WA) would have won the award for the most laughs as they showed photos of what they intended to bring to show tonight was covered in a foot of snow. They took a photo of their desolate nursery, where not a single customer was shopping during the snow storm, and carved the words "Nerd Night" in the snow, while their two dogs sniffed it out. They also shared photos of their trip to Vietnam, were they showed a very desolate mountain landscape, and no plants growing on it because of a recent monsoon. They continued this running gag of having no plants to show by highlighting the metal shed their guides slept under with the cows, and the little tent on the rocks they had to sleep under in the pouring rain. Eventually they did show us some rare plant specimens they found, representing many new species they are offering this year at their plant nursery.

After each slide-show, the presenters would raffle off the prized plants featured in their presentations. For this group of over 600 giddy people, they probably gave away over a hundred plant prizes.

It was getting late. Some people were opting to leave early as the last presenter took to the stage. One of my friendly gutter-dwellers gave me their cursed raffle ticket. Not a winner. Rats!

Wrap Up

As the mega-church parking lot outside soon became a night-time traffic nightmare, I approached some of the plant vendors I had not yet looked at. I was on the hunt to find the blue flower plant featured in the slide show earlier, a true blue, known as Pulmonaria 'Benediction' (Benediction lungwort).

Photo Source: Pixabay

Anyone who has ever tried to grow all colors of flowers knows that blue is one of the rarest colors to find. It often does not occur naturally in nature. I'm excited to add this long-lasting spring bloomer to my collection. I'll show some photos of the plant I purchased in a future post once I find a sunny day to do some gardening.

The Goods

After arriving back home, it was time check out the goods. Inside I found some free organic fertilizer pellets and a packet of romaine lettuce seeds. Nice gift, considering the recent shortage of romaine lettuce available from farms this year.

Has anyone used this kind of fertilizer before? Is it used for slow-release nitrogen, or does it also give iron the plant? I'm not sure. I have been told my Azalea bonsai tree would benefit from an iron fertilizer source, but I haven't been sure where to find that.

The other free gift I picked up was this awesome pine tree. Japanese Black Pine. Score!

For those of you not in-the-know, this is one of the most well-known tree species grown in traditional bonsai collections.

The pairs of needles is the primary characteristic used for identifying Japanese Black Pine.

This will be my first Japanese Black Pine in my bonsai collection, and I could not be happier to have it as a first year seedling. I love being able to watch trees develop from the beginning, so I can learn from its growth habits, and let it teach me how to prune it into a thing of beauty over many years of patient training.

These young buds will become the candles later in the Spring season, which will become the new branches and needles in the Summer.

To keep the tree healthy, the attached tag says to keep the tree cold in the refrigerator and plant it within three days. Our fridge is always full, so I've got it sitting against my cold bedroom windowsill tonight, and I'll be sure to plant it in an outdoor pot tomorrow.

Conclusion

That's it for my crazy experience attending this oddball evening plant show. I've never seen so many people stuffed in a crowded room before to "Ooh" and "Ahh" over photos of flowers.

Not sure if I will return next year. My two suggestions to improve the event would be, one, they really need a larger space, and two, I think they should revise the raffle system to let people pick the items they want most, rather than wait to receive something random.

Can't really say it was a waste of time though. Got a new bonsai tree, seeds, and a really useful organic fertilizer, all for free. Only splurged a little bit on a small blue-flowering plant, that can be easily tucked inconspicuously anywhere in the yard.

Actually I had a really great day, and quite enjoyed the comedy of the ridiculously short event. Much Ado About Nothing. Maybe next year, I can talk someone into attending Plant Nerd Night, and pass the goods they find onto me, while I stay happy at home and watch their photo feed.

#plant #native-plants #lungwort #Pulmonaria #black-pine #japanese-blackpine #evergreen #conifer #seeds #fertilizer #humor #plant-sale #plant-people #nerd-night #weird #funny #portland #oregon