Arming For Adventure, or: "Why Would I Want One of Those?" - Basic Equipment in D&D, Part 6
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Encumbrance is probably the single most hated and ignored rule in all of Dungeons & Dragons history (although 'keeping track of literally every material spell component' gives Encumbrance a run for its money). I've never met a player who enjoyed all the bookkeeping necessary to ensure encumbrance compliance, although I have met my fair share of DMs who take obscene delight in hosing the party on weight restrictions at critical moments. Encumbrance is the gaming equivalent of diagramming sentences in your English class: it does little more than waste time which could be spent doing literally anything else for a greater reward.
That said, as a Dungeon Master myself, while I hate Encumbrance, I am a member of the, "You didn't buy it? Then you don't have it!" club. This isn't (solely) because I want to be a dick to my players, it's because I want to spur them on to greater heights of creativity than even they thought possible. See also: schadenfreude. Some of my most memorable times around the gaming table have involved my PCs using seemingly unrelated mundane items to MacGyver their way out of difficult situations. With a little planning and some creativity, you can turn nearly anything in the Player's Handbook into a way out of a potential problem, so let's take a look at the basic Adventuring Gear table from page 150 and suss out some not-so-obvious uses for some not-so-obvious equipment.
In Part 5, we went from Magnifying Glass to Pick, so today we're starting with...
Piton
In an odd bit of oversight, the Piton doesn't have an explanation in the equipment list. Just looking at it, all you will see is that one costs five coppers, and weighs .25 pounds. But that's not helpful if you don't know what one is or why you'd need one (or more than one), so let's rectify that.
Pitons are large metal spikes with an eye on the end, like a needle on steroids. They're climbing tools, and when used in conjunction with a hammer, you can drive them into a wall and secure a rope through the eye to give you a handhold to assist your ascent. The Player's Handbook doesn't give any rules for how their usage affects the game, so you have a few options to discuss with your DM before bringing them into play. Your PC's Dexterity, Athletics, the type of surface they're scaling, and if they're planning on helping other people make the climb will all determine how frequently you'll need to use one, but for sheer vertical surfaces with few natural breaks and handholds, or ones that are excessively slippery, one every 5-10 feet or so is probably a safe bet. With 10 pitons coming standard in the Burglar's Pack, along with 50 feet of rope, this seems both mathematically and Rules-As-Written appropriate.
Personally, as a DM, I'd rule that any PC can climb a surface using pitons with a standard Athletics check if placing them, or an Athletics check with Advantage to use ones placed by someone else, but talk this over with your DM before making any assumptions.
Poson, basic (vial)
Another 100 gold piece wonder, putting it well outside the purview of most low-level adventurers. Using this poison takes a single action in which you coat or dip one slashing or piercing weapon or up to three pieces of ammunition. For the next minute (10 rounds), any creature hit with the coated weapon has to make a DC 10 Constitution save, or suffer 1d4 poison damage on top of the normal damage dealt.
Obviously this is here for those assassin types who need to make sure a target is really dead, but anybody who's played D&D for any length of time can already see the problem. For most creatures, a DC 10 Constitution saving throw is no big deal. Low level creatures and NPCs are the most susceptible to this kind of poison, as higher level creatures will either make the saving throw without issue or shrug off the additional damage as inconsequential. But low-level parties won't have the resources to acquire poison in all but the smallest quantity, while high level parties who could afford it have much better (not to mention less-expensive) options for boosting damage output.
Mathematically, poisoning ammunition is a complete waste of money. Assuming you hit with all three shots, your target fails all three saving throws (and isn't resistant or immune to poison), and you roll maximum damage on each d4, congratulations: you've added a whole 12 points of damage to your attacks and spent 100 gold to do so.
At higher levels, when dealing with classes which get multiple attacks per round, poison becomes marginally better. A fighter, after all, can use the same poisoned weapon to land several blows on the same (or different) creatures, thus multiplying the poison's potential effectiveness. Used in this way, and against a single target that is somehow weak or suffering Disadvantage/penalties on Constitution saving throws (think the Bane spell, etc...), and which is not immune or resistant to poison damage, this might be helpful. But 100 gold could hire you an awful lot of bodyguards/mercenaries that could do more than an extra 1d4 damage per attack over the course of that minute...just sayin'.
Pole (10-foot)
There's possibly no more iconic piece of adventuring gear in all of D&D than the 10' pole. It's a simple ten foot long length of something (generally wood, but nothing says you can't have a metal 10' pole), and just like the blanket, there are about a million different things you can use a 10' pole to do.
Most obviously, you use the pole to investigate or touch substances or surfaces you don't want to test with your bare hands. Curious if there's a trap on the floor or ceiling? Tap it with your 10' pole. Use it to sweep along a corridor to check for hidden pressure plates or tripwires. Poke levers, buttons, or switches from a safe distance. Dip it into liquids and see what happens. Use it as a sounding rod to determine how deep a pool of water or a pit is (if it's at least 10 feet deep, you'll know). Prod things to see if they are illusory. Knock objects off shelves or other high places instead of climbing up to retrieve them. Shove your enemies off ledges and out windows without triggering opportunity attacks. Attach a mirror or other reflective surface to the end and use it to peer over obstacles or around corners without arousing suspicion.
But those are the everyday, mundane uses for a 10' pole. Consider how useful an item which is exactly ten feet long can be when mapping out a dungeon. Tie a flag, bell, or some other signal item to the end and wave it around to send messages over short distances or within visual range. Acrobatic characters could use it to vault over dangerous areas, or to maintain their balance while walking a tightrope. Assholes could use it to antagonize bar patrons, semi-intelligent monsters, or other NPCs into starting fights with one another. Stretch it out across a doorway or corridor and trip up non-perceptive foes (one PC per side).
You can also break/chop it up for firewood, use a pair of them and a blanket to make a stretcher, combine it with cloth to make a lean-to shelter, stick your helmet on the end and use it as a decoy for enemy archers, or combine it with some string and fish hooks for a poor man's fishing pole.
My personal favorite option for the pole is to find a craftsman who can fashion a pair of 5' poles that will screw together. It's far easier to transport two five-foot sticks than it is a single ten-foot one, and this allows you to quickly assemble/disassemble it based on your current needs. Two five-foot lengths of metal could be made the same way, which would give you a stronger pole at the expense of added weight. For 5 copper, there's a world's worth of possibilities contained within. No party should be without one!
Pot, Iron
This is a simple iron pot, suitable for cooking over a fire, capable of holding a gallon of liquid. While you can use it to prepare foods like soups or stews, a great use for it is boiling water you've obtained from a questionable source before you use it to fill your waterskins. Add some dried leaves or ground up beans and you can caffeinate your whole squad with tea, coffee, or some other beverage.
Also, have you ever heard a toddler who got his hands on cookware? This thing can be used, either by itself or in conjunction with other metal objects, to cause a horrendous racket. When you absolutely need to attract everybody's attention in a given area so your friends can get up to mischief elsewhere, using a bunch of pots as a makeshift drum kit will bring literally everything within earshot running, if for no other reason than to shut you up.
Potion of Healing
At fifty gold pieces per vial they certainly aren't cheap, but when you need to revive a downed ally or undo some of the damage from that last cannonade and the Healer's busy elsewhere, the Potion of Healing is your best friend. Use your action to slug one down (or administer it to someone else), and get back 2d4+2 HP just like that.
Healing potions are best saved for when you've exhausted your other options (curative spells, spent hit dice during a short rest, the fighter's Second Wind, etc...) but you need to keep going and there's no time for a long rest. You can purchase more powerful variations which restore more HP per dose, but they all do basically the same thing: keep you fighting just a little longer, or revive a fallen friend.
An optional rule which some groups have adopted (and which I whole-heartedly endorse) is to remove the randomization when it comes to these, and just say that a single swig from a standard healing potion restores 10 hit points. This allows your PCs to best determine when to deploy them, thus making it more likely that they'll actually use them and then buy more when they re-supply. They get the advantage of knowing they'll get a maximized heal out of one, while you enjoy removing gold from their coffers more frequently. You can keep the randomized aspect on the more powerful ones if you want, but there's zero down side to your players knowing they can always rely on that 10-point heal when the chips are down.
Pouch
This little cloth or leather pouch is meant to hold ammunition for slings and blowguns. One pouch holds up to 20 bullets, or 50 blowgun needles. You can also use one to hold money, or other small objects up to six pounds or 1/5 cubic feet in size. Note that this isn't a spell component pouch, and does not offer the easy access and compartmentalized storage of its more expensive cousin. That's why it's only 5 silver, and not 25 gold.
Pouches are useful for carrying small things, and are more easily concealed than bulkier storage options like sacks and crates. At the very least, you should have one on your belt for carrying around some copper. This can distract cutpurses, who can rob you without making off with much loot if they're successful. You could also use that pouch to scatter some coins during a retreat in the hopes greedy creatures or those interested in shiny things will pay attention to those instead.
Rogues and other sneaky, underhanded sorts could also carry pouches filled with sand, dust, ground glass, pepper, or other unpleasant substances to throw in an enemy's face, or scatter on the ground to foil animals which track primarily by scent.
Quiver
Just like a pouch, only for arrows instead of blowgun needles or sling bullets. One quiver holds 20 arrows and costs 1 gold piece, so they're not really suitable for other uses.
Ram, Portable
Weighing 35 pounds, this is basically a shaped tree trunk with handles for ease of use. If you've ever watched SWAT smash down a door, then you know what this is. It exists solely to add a +4 bonus on your Strength check to demolish a door (although I'd allow the bonus for anything where it would logically seem like a battering ram could help, such as knocking over/breaking a statue, smashing out a reinforced window, busting through a temporary wall, and so forth). There's enough room for a second person to assist with this, which grants the user Advantage on the Strength check.
You could, I suppose, try to weaponize this thing in a pinch for some quick bludgeoning damage with enough force behind it to knock Medium or smaller creatures prone if they failed a Strength check to maintain their balance, but that's at DM's discretion. The rules don't cover that sort of thing.
Rations (1 day)
A simple three-portion helping of dried/preserved food which restore calories burnt by adventurers doing adventuresome things. PCs have to eat and drink regularly or suffer levels of exhaustion, so make sure you've always got enough food.
But beyond basic survival, rations can distract hungry foes, serve as barter material with groups who don't have regular access to food, tame or motivate animals, bait traps, given to hungry prisoners you've just rescued, or eaten in lieu of food you're proffered when you're unsure if it's edible or safe to consume.
DMs, make sure you're enforcing regular eating and drinking on your players. This is an easy way to slowly leech money from your campaign, whether they're surviving on trail rations and waterskins or chowing down at the tavern. Players, make sure you're always carrying more food than you think you'll need. And don't forget that if you have mounts, companion animals, or familiars they need to eat and drink too. Create Food and Water is a fine fall-back, but there are probably other spells you want your Cleric or Paladin using in that 3rd level slot.
Robes
If you want to look like a spell-slinger, you'll want a nice set of robes to compliment your attire. Clerics, Wizards, Sorcerers, Warlocks...really anyone can rock a robe, and at 1 gold per set they're a great way to announce how rich you are to every brigand, bandit, and vagabond within eyesight.
With a weight of 4 pounds, it's safe to assume these are fairly heavy robes. They are likely to keep you warm if you venture out in the cold, and are likely loose enough that you could wear them over light armor for that purpose (or just to show off). With their flowing design and loose folds, robes are also a great place to stash things you don't want instantly visible. Good luck to the would-be thief who tries to snaffle a coin purse carried under a closed robe, for instance, but you could also carry small weapons strapped to your back under the robe without raising suspicion.
Robes so often indicate members of the priesthood or magic users that a simple set of robes, a length of wood for a quarterstaff, and maybe an ostentatious hat or decorative belt to complete the ensemble would do enough to convince the average person you can cast magic. While you likely couldn't bluff your way into the Mage's guild by wearing robes, you might be able to fool commoners or less-intelligent creatures into believing you're something you aren't. And that might be all you need to gain access to that library or cow a cluster of kobolds.
Rope
Rope comes in fifty foot lengths, wrapped up and carried either on the side of a backpack or around one's waist. The D&D world offers two varieties of rope: hempen rope is heavy and cheap (10 pounds / 1 gold piece), while silken rope is light and expensive (5 pound / 10 gold pieces). Both share the same uses and stats though: 2 hit points and can be burst with a DC 17 Strength check.
Most uses for rope are obvious (climbing, lowering people into or pulling people out of pits, and the like), but there are some creative uses out there as well. There's the tried-and-true "stretch the rope across a doorway and watch the NPC trip" school, which lets two people (or one person and one iron spike/piton) completely obstruct a corridor in this fashion. You can also tie your PCs (or POWs) together using rope to help them all stay together. In seafaring campaigns, ropes are used all over the place, so the ability to replace damaged rigging is helpful.
If you've ever wanted to be a cowboy, the rope lets you tie a lasso you could (with a successful skill check) use to grab/restrain uncooperative others, ascend vertical surfaces, snag out-of-reach objects, pull levers from a safe distance, or swing across bottomless pits. Also, if you lean more towards the Sergio Leone school of westerns, one rope, one tree branch, and one knot's all that stands between you and a hanging.
Rope can be used to dangle important/flashy/bright/noisy/obnoxious objects just out of reach. Tie a bunch of iron pots to a single rope then have your designated decoy run down a hallway with it dangling behind them, and watch the chaos unfold. Secure important belongings to yourself before attempting something dangerous.
But, be honest, as soon as it came up, every last one of you ding-dongs thought about this:
Stupid fuckin' rope...
That's it for today's adventure down the equipment list. Tune in next time where, now that we've minded our Ps and Qs (and Rs), we cover the final sixteen items you need creative uses for in your D&D campaign.
I'm so glad it's back.
I think you're right on about poison. I'd much rather have 2 healing potions for the price.
There's got to be something you could do with a quiver.
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