...the last Mass Effect post. For now, anyway. 🙂
Sometimes I wonder why I even play the Mass Effect Trilogy. This happens at least once a year. I know it will just end up with me in tears -- am nursing a headache and sore eyes right now -- and I know sleep won't come easy tonight because I'll be too busy mourning my digital human hero... and also mourning for her love interest.
This is actually the whole reason I can't finish the book I'm trying to write. Being a Deep POV writer sucks. I get stuck in my secondary-character's head and feel the grief for my fictional protagonist / for his wife and although they're not real, they're real to me and I just can't write through the tears and heartache. I love them too much.
It makes me wonder how much the writers cried when writing this cursed game. Or, did they have hearts of stone? All I've ever heard about is the one writer who left the team and yelled about the ending all over the internets.
For me, the tears start in the damned opening sequence. The kid stumbling into the shuttle, Shepard watching on, the Reaper blasting them away. And that music that gets played as it happens! I can't bear it.
In this particular playthrough, I had everyone with me except Tali... and I'm disappointed that no-one really even mentioned her. Her name was on the Normandy's Wall of Death. Liara made some comment about how she was glad Tali didn't have to see what her people had become. Not even Admiral Raan had anything to say about her.
But thanks to Tali not being in the game, for the first time I had to choose between the Geth and the Quarians, unable to save them both. And I chose the Geth.
The Quarians were jerks, anyway.
Even better: for a change, I didn't cry when Grunt threw himself at the rachni. I guess that bit has been drilled into me -- he lives! But Mordin's death still gets to me, and so does Legion's sacrifice. Even if he is just a robot.
Also, for the first time I actually completed the Citadel DLC. I never bothered with it before; did it once up to the part where you defeat Shepard's clone but never did the party afterwards or the meetups with people. Always in a hurry to just finish the game and get the tears over and done with.
I'm so glad I chose to play it this time!
Although there were tears because I kept reminding myself that this was basically Shepard's goodbye to everyone, there was laughter too! The Citadel DLC is the best DLC I've ever played for any game ever and I giggled so much. I can't help but wonder what Tali would've brought to it; emergency induction ports? And a lot of them? I feel terrible that I never completed this DLC sooner!
I always read other people's opinions about how it was the greatest DLC and a fantastic farewell to Shepard and the crew, but didn't really see what a big deal it was. Until now. That's what I get for previously only defeating the clone before flying off. 😅
...And best of all: The bit where Shepard offers to dance with EDI... and Joker laughs for like, ten minutes about it. Because, you know, Shepard can't dance. It's fantastic! One of my favourite moments in the DLC. 😁
But then, the end came and it was still as heartbreaking as it ever was.
Actually, even more this time.
I've never played a Shepard who romanced Kaidan before, until now. And the facial expressions they coded onto that guy... heart-wrenching:
And the "I love you"s and "I can't lose you"s being thrown around here, there, everywhere in pretty much every scene with him........
Probably deliberately written for people like me. 😜 The soft-hearted fools who die for that sort of stuff.
Though, his voice actor got grating after a while. And so did Shepard's when dealing with him. I don't recall there being as many low, throaty, flirty, suggestive voice tones with Garrus. But I can listen to Brandon Keener all day, every day. No grating voice on that guy!
But, still. My heart broke for Kaidan. Damn those pained facial expressions! Damn the writers!
And so... my yearly Mass Effect journey has been completed. And even going through these screenshots was painful enough. According to my Mass Effect 3 screenshots folder, I took 713 screenshots to sort through. And I was fine until I reached the end. Now I'm sitting here sniffling, and inwardly wailing like a grieving war widow.
Why do I do this to myself?
Best game trilogy ever.
Worst feelings ever.
But at least now that the interactive game-story-movie has finished... I can return to living and acting like a normal real life human again. 😅
Until next time, at least.