This is a really great comment @cleverleazoid. Thanks for sharing some of your story, it helps to see more than one perspective.

My son and @quinneaker were both unschooled, so they had already built a foundation of directing their own lives. Most children who go to school (or often times in a homeschooling situation as well) are told what to do and how to do it basically since the time they were born.. They have to learn things they don't care about and dedicate time to things they don't find of value.

When you don't get to do what you want, you find whatever opportunities you can to rule your own world. Many times that comes out as an addition--to games, food, alcohol, drugs, sex, shopping....or whatever you can find to have some control over. Sometimes when not having the experience of self governance, children rely on someone else to make them quit, as they can't seem to regulate their own affairs as well. Most school kids also can't wait to do something they want, and unschoolers do what they want all day. There are definitely some fundamental differences, which of course are not always the case, but often seems to have a big affect on the way they run their own lives. I found that when I put the responsibility in my children's laps, their choices were much wiser, more powerful, and generally safer They weren't lazy as they knew their well-being depended upon themselves, no body else was going to do it for them.

Incredible observations. A strick parent policy is indeed NOT the only option. I have been experiencing a life to quite the contrary--evolutionary indeed. Thanks for engaging this post!!