Heart vs. Mind - How Much Instinct Does A Solid Decision Need?
Decisions are the hardest moves to make, especially when it's a choice between what you want and what is right.
I guess we all know that story well.
How often do we struggle facing a decision, since the angel that's sitting on the left shoulder doesn't agree with the devil on the right?
The head says 'NO', but the heart wants it so badly. And then?!
@surfermarly thinking out loud at the beach
Yes! No! I mean...... Yo!
Life is a constant chain of choices.
We ARE our choices. The history we write in our own life's books is defined by the decisions we come to, the paths we strike and the mistakes we make along the way.
The good thing about this coherence is, that nobody else is able to interfere. The disadvantage is: responsibility.
I am not the product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions. - Stephen Covey
Correct.
We are the ones at the wheel.
One single day is made of decisions. Before even being completely awake we make a series of choices: Sweet or salty breakfast? Pants or skirt? Hair down or ponytail?
Most of these type of decisions become part of our daily routine, which means that we don't even make them consiously anymore.
Yet every single step is able to turn our lives into a new direction.
Even a "sweet or salty breakfast" decision is able to have an impact on our future existence. Why? Because it's one element of the chain.
Imagine that you decide on having donuts for breakfast which you don't have at home by chance. You head for the bakery store then where you will meet people you wouldn't have met when staying at home.
You see it? Even daily routine is able to make a difference!
Besides these "accidental game changers" obviously there are decisions we make more consciously since we are aware of their consequences.
We all know these monster decisions that are able to change our whole lives at a moment's notice.
Quitting a job and starting a new one, borrowing in order to build a house, moving to a new country, asking her for her hand in marriage, deciding on having kids..... etc. etc. (that list could be INFINITE).
The definition of a big decision totally depends on our personal circumstances.
What may seem to be an easy routine for person A, could be a huge step for person B.
Independently from our individual situation or background, most of the time we all rely on two main advisers: our heart and our brain (or the other way around).
"Follow your heart, it knows the right way." Really?
Is instinct, feelings and emotions definitely the very best advisor?
What I've learned in my still relatively short life is that there needs to be a balance.
I don't think that any decision should merely follow or emotional or rational arguments.
The heart is an important guide, however we have to listen to its recommendations carefully.
Here is my lesson: Don't make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion.
Once that emotion is gone, there's a high probability that you'd regret your decision.
So we'd rather take our time and a deep breath before getting ourselves into trouble.
What is the right formula then?
Should we unplug our feelings completely?
I don't think so.
Even game changing decisions in business can't be done only relying on the numbers.
That's why this is my formula:
THINK - FEEL - ACT.
Rational arguments are my basis. Then I cross check them asking my heart. When everything seems to make sense, I go ahead.
OK that was the theory then, haha! Being an impulsive person, that doesn't work all the time for me. But I really try to educate myself...
What definitely helps to find the right path is trying to forecast the future impact a decision might cause.
Try to anticipate the consequences!
Be careful with the desicion that won't make you smile.
You know that a decision was right when you feel peace in your heart. Sometimes you also know that it was right when your bank account is filled up.
Remember also that mistakes are part of the game. We're human beings and not perfect for a reason.
The right decision brings you forward, the wrong decision makes you grow.
Best of luck for all these small and big decisions in your life, steemians!
Marly -
PS: If you are in doubt, remember that marking time won't bring you forward anyways. Be brave!
Original content. Quotes found on pinterest.com and stuffpoint.com, doublequotes.net and pinterest.com.
Very good post! Fact is that pure rationality doesn't exist. We are always affected by our mood, feelings and circumstances, even if we think we aren't! But good decisions take time, rethink them well, in different kinds of mood, and then pull the trigger. Most of the time you'll be allright.
It is important to let go of wrong decisions in the past, take the experience with you, but don't let guilt take over.
Nice philosophy Marly, you are with both feet on the floor (when you're not on a board ;-) )!
Excellent comment, @pele23! You are completely right. Good decisions need their time. In our fast moving world we're not always given plenty of time, but we should try to take as much as we can get.
Haha, nicely said. Thank you! I also do mistaken decisions, but I know how to handle them. Probably not being afraid of failure is what really calms me down :)
Again, thanks for stopping by and adding these valuable thoughts.
Have a great day!
You're welcome, and I will stop by in the future! By the way, not being afraid of failure is a quality very few people have! Have a nice day, too!
True, Follow your intuition :)
Each decision is a decision to change or not to change. Change is hard and rationality in deciding to change can bring up fear which is irrational. Then it is up to desire and the heart to face change. I think about this a lot and find it really interesting that a simply rational approach can still bring up irrational feelings. None of us are Volcan. It's rare and maybe impossible that any decision is 100% rational or emotional. There is always that mix. (words from a man that fears change)
Thanks for your valuable addings, man that fears change :-)
Absolutely. It's a constant struggle, and most of the trouble takes place in our heads.
Sometimes it helps to do one step back and ask ourselves how we would decide if this wasn't OUR problem :-) Being part of the problem sometimes doesn't help to find the way out.
Nicely quoted, logically there is a very thin difference between an good or bad thought and an right or wrong decision.
What is right for us could be a wrong from someone else's perspective. So we can not take a decision on some one else`s thoughts. We have to think and decide ourselves.
Anyway you gave me a thought to ponder up on. It was pleasure reading.
Thank you! I'm happy you enjoyed the read and it somehow made you think about it :)
I'm not sure that will be interesting for you, but cross checking rational arguments with emotions seems to have support from the evolutionary point of view. Emotions may be a 'superordinate mechanism' coordinating memory, attention, energy allocation and other information-processeing mechanisms.
More about it: http://labs.la.utexas.edu/buss/files/2013/02/Al-ShawafEmotion-Review-2015.pdf
Of course, as with all evolved features, there is a question about the delay. Our culture is changing faster and faster. Our emotional software may be outdated. What then I don't know...
Wow, nice adding! Thank you!! I will definitely read the PDF :-)
That's highly sophisticated psychology in the end...
As far as I know, evolutionary psychology is not mainstream yet but I really like it. It has a potential of adding evolutionary ideas into our everyday thinking equipment. As for now scientific psychology and cognitive scientists are working mostly for the marketing industry. Against us.
Hope it will change one day. Thank you for taking notice :)
I see that you've got a lot of knowledge in this field. Really nice!
Find a new follower in me :-)
Wow! I'll surely try not to disappoint you @surfermarly. Happy to follow back and I'll be very grateful for any future comments on my posts.
Rational thinking will not let one go out of his/her comfort zone. Rationality will always keep one from making risky and potentially life-changing decisions.
Well if you're rationally aware of that chance, you might do it anyways. Don't you think? :-)
Certainly, but the rational mind sees only one or two steps ahead, meaning that it is almost impossible to know whether a "bad" decision would eventually lead to something great.
Is a heart able to precisely forecast the future? :-)
I wouldn't name the heart responsible for that, it just pumps blood )) I call it intuition. It is necessary to learn to listen properly to intuition and then it will be far more precise than the mind which is limited only to our knowledge and moral framework. But it is a very broad topic on which I might elaborate in my blog.
Do it and then drop the link in my blog, I wanna read more about it :)
Sure!
You can also check out my introduction story, hope you will find it interesting.
Not all choices are certain nor are we aware of the good or bad they will bring, but one way or another you will get to where you need to and want to be in life. We all make bad decisions but also good decisions, I know I have and still do so while continuing my journey, finding my place in this world in the life I want to live.
Amazing post, thank you for this! :)
Thank you!
I absolutely agree. Failure is what makes us grow, and it takes a certain time to "find our place in the world" as you called it. Best of luck on that journey :-)
Coincidently I made a post about each of us having faith in each other which I think is something pivotal for us to all have. Sometimes at heart we have a burning desire to do something but our mind always wants to impede our journey to virtue as it wants to conform to normality and not change.
One small decision can absolutely revolutionise your life. Get out there and follow your heart and have an adventure and create a beautiful fantasy that you can look back on when you are older.
Thanks for this motivational post @surfermarly
Definitely.
amazing plan and ideas for future . god bless you
The question is not whether you should follow your reason or your heart? For we can not separate the heart from reason and vice versa. The heart and the reason are joined, connected by the tree of life. This coexistence heart-reason is part of every individual since it is the very essence of the human being. Rivalries arise when one or the other of these factions does its own thing.
Reason is the individual mind in every person, it is the mind that thinks, imagines, makes decisions, is action, organizes, analyzes and is expressive. Reason or intellect is often associated with the "masculine" principle in man or woman.
The heart is the seat of feelings, sensitivity, impulsivity, intuition and creativity. The heart is assimilated to the essence of being: this is where our inner being is lodged with his deepest feelings, emotions, pleasures and desires. It is the "feminine" part in each of us.
I fully agree. That's why "THINK - FEEL - ACT" is my formula (see above) :-)