in funny •  2 months ago 

Nuclear boars are threatening the continued existence of mankind on Earth. These terrible beasts are gaining ground at a steady pace, and recently they've adjusted their plan of attack as to assure our ultimate demise comes even sooner than previously estimated; they're coming for our young ones now!

source: Wikimedia Commons

I hope that when these few lines reach you, they may find you in a hog-free situation. Boss Hogg used to be a fictional character in the popular television series The Dukes of Hazzard, but the bossing of hogs ain't fictional no more; the news is awash with reports of innocent humans suffering from hog-terrorism, clearly aimed at the replacing of human beings as the dominant species on this planet. The wild boars that are heading this underground - for now - organization, are still eluding the combined intelligence organizations of the mightiest nations on Earth; MI5, CIA, Mossad, Russia's FSB, SVR and FSO, they're all in the dark where the exact identity of these malevolent creatures is concerned. We therefore ask you, the audience, for help.

Depicted above are a group of prime suspects. One brave CIA agent gave her life to make this snapshot at exactly the right moment, when the ringleader looked up, right into the camera. Unfortunately she never had a chance to win the ensuing chase and ultimate confrontation with the Alpha-Boar's loyal foot-soldiers. Her heroism and sacrifice for the good of humanity will never be forgotten. If you recognize the Alpha-Boar, or any of the depicted foot-terrorists, if you've seen any one of them or even have information as to the whereabouts of these vile creatures, please contact your local law-enforcement agency at once!

Okay, that's enough. I'll quit with the boar nonsense and let you enjoy the real boar nonsense in the video below. Or is it nonsense? It's not, actually, not entirely. Boar attacks are rampant all over the globe, people have died even by the teeth and tusks of wild boars. The reason for me posting this, and showing the video, is that it presents us with a lesson to be learned. The reason why most of you won't know anything about the regular boar-human confrontations is simply this: there is no War Against Boars.

There is however a war against immigration, and thus immigrants, so the media will focus on any and all opportunity to paint them in a negative light. At least until they saw the monster they created with the recent upsurge of far right politics in the west. Please note that I'm generalizing of course, but I think you know what I mean. There's a War Against Terrorism, actually a War Against Muslim Terrorism, so you're made aware, every minute of every day, of the existence of these terrorists, when more people die from hurricanes than they do from terrorist attacks. It's up to us to constantly be aware of these wars that were never meant to be won, but exist only to transfer certain ideas into our minds, and to transfer our money into certain pockets... I present to you exhibit A, the latest airing from the channel Some More News (and I suggest you do a Google search for "boars in the news"; it's what I did to check if boar-attacks are indeed reported on regularly), and listen carefully to the last words spoken, just before the end-tune kicks in...:

Yes, The Feral Hogs Are Indeed Coming For Your Children - SOME BOAR NEWS

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Actually the media is focused on what sells. Muslim terrorism is not hot topic anymore. It's now about Trump being racist, China as a threat, Russia as a threat, Iran as a threat, Mexicans as a threat and left leaning socialists as a threat of and so called far right terrorists as a rising threat....

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Hear hear! Agreed 100% :-)

Boar must be code for something that has been running around for 1,200 years or longer.