1. Headphones in her ears means she is pretending to listen to music while secretly listening to the men around her talk about how hot she is. This makes her a little uncomfortable, yet somehow reassured that she is indeed, hot ... as she suspected all along.

2. Her shirt says NOT TODAY. Other similar shirts might say for exmaple "I hate NBC" or "Fuck Al Roker!". Pretty self-explanatory, amirite?

3. Mirrored lenses making sure no-one can tell she's checking out your bulge.

4. Resting Bitch Face, if that doesn't turn into a smile as soon as she sees you, do_not_approach.

5. Only glancing up from her phone in order not to walk into a pole ... and drop your sandwich.

Shit ... I think I did it wrong.