Apparently no-one wants to win the NBA Eastern Conference: Jim Shorts Reports

in #funny7 years ago

Few could argue that the NBA's offseason has been far more exciting than its postseason. Then again, going to church with your grandma and her Pinochle buddies is probably more exciting than a completely noncompetitive postseason.

Over the past couple of days, it has become even more interesting.



While the Western Conference shuffled chairs on the deck of the Titanic in an effort to be the team to earn the honor of being smoked by the Golden State Warriors, the Eastern Conference was busy trying to do everything possible to ensure that absolutely no one outside of Cleveland and Boston would even make the playoffs.

Congratulations to Indiana and Chicago for being the absolute best at stripping their teams of as much talent as possible!



The Pacers and Bulls are in a fierce competition to add this guy to their roster.

Things were shaping up to be business as usual. Whatever team LeBron James happened to be on would represent the Eastern Conference in the NBA finals while Golden State Warriors would hold 82 scrimmages in order to prepare themselves to sweep the playoffs (with perhaps one bone being thrown to LeBron by the NBA and its referees).

Then something crazy happened.

Cleveland's second best player, Kyrie Irving, figured out what everyone else already knew. No matter how much help his team received from the referees, no one is going to beat the Golden State Warriors in a seven game series in the foreseeable future.

Mr. League sources has reported that at some point during the last month, Kyrie Irving has "hinted at" and "officially requested" a trade. He is done playing side kick to the most physically gifted NBA player of all time who also happens to refuse to be "the man". No other star has deferred more to his teammates in crucial moments of games. No other first ballot hall of famer has disappeared in more fourth quarters of playoff games. No other player in the conversation for best player ever has lost more finals series (LeBron is 3 and 5). No other face of the NBA has flopped or complained more than "The King".


Maybe it isn't a surprise that Irving wants out after all.

Irving is an incredibly gifted offensive player. Not only is he one of the best shooters in the game, he is all one of the best at finishing at the rim. Considering Irving plays in a league where no one watching the 5 second highlights of spectacular plays cares that after his fantastic move to score two, he allows his man to run down the floor for an open three, he is a legit star.

If Irving isn't going to earn any more rings, it makes sense that he doesn't want to be in LeBron's gigantic shadow anymore. (Good thing for him because if he accidentally bumped into LeBron's shadow, "The King" would throw himself to the ground like he were just shot by a sniper.)

So where will Irving end up? New York? Toronto? Miami? Minnesota?

Oh wait. this just in.

It just doesn't matter!




It does not matter at all where Irving ends up or what Cleveland receives as compensation. Nothing will change the fact that The Warriors and whatever team LeBron is on will meet in the NBA finals.

The league is simply making too much money to not set up that matchup.

If LeBron suited up along side Jackie Moon, Monix, Clarence and the fish that saved Pittsburgh, they would still make it to the NBA finals.



So Kyrie Irving, I salute you for trying to be your own man and wish you luck in your endeavors to never win a ring just like the other 371 players not on the Warriors' roster.

Sort:  

Statistically Indiana and Chicago are doing the right thing. They have no shot so it's infinitely better to try to be the absolute worst than to fight for mediocrity. Yea it sucks to see teams do it this way, but until there is an incentive for every team to play hard till the very end, we will see this cycle of tanking continue.

Lol. Your hate for LBJ man...trolling haha.

I wanna hate on this article so bad but it's unfortunate that there are few truths here. I'll just say this....its a pity to see the same trend of inflated egos get in the way of a Cleveland squad that just need a few pieces to take GSW to game seven next year. More power to the East!

The NBA's max salary system is actually a pretty good argument for mandating max salaries in other corporate contexts. If you can only earn X dollars (say $50M), after you get to that number, your motivations migrate elsewhere - in the NBA its super teams, what would this look like for Exxon?

Haha nice one @theregularguy
It is so funny ;D

This post has received a 11.40 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @theregularguy.

@theregularguy i think that irving, might end up at Phoenix, as in exchange for Bledsoe, 1st round pick and Chandler or Bender. some said Josk Jackson (but i don't think that Phoenix board's that dumb) If this happensLeBron, might end up as the winner of this trade, or i should say, Cleveland as we presume that i he could finish as a Laker :P

The Celtics are trying....just not helpful they keep getting injuries (i.e. Gordon, Al Horford, and now Kyrie) Still 11 wins a row is amazing!

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.30
TRX 0.12
JST 0.033
BTC 64222.08
ETH 3135.29
USDT 1.00
SBD 3.99