Top 10 Reasons Why I Will Not Be Writing an Article Today (for real this time)
I don't have time to write an introduction, so let's just get right down to it. These are the top ten reasons why I will not be writing an article today.
10 - No Time
I don't have time to write an introduction. How am I supposed to write a proper article if I don't have time to write it properly? Think about it. That's just wrong.
9 - No Keyboard
I'm not sure where I put my keyboard. It's impossible to write an article without the necessary tools. I hope someone didn't steal it. The last time it went missing, the batteries were gone. I still haven't been able to solve that puzzle. It has haunted me for many years and I soon may have to start seeing a shrink or go on a mushroom trip to help bring clarity back to my life.
8 - Starving
I'm hungry and I can't think on an empty stomach. Every time I want to think, I just hear a bland humming sound like my brain is a factory, but they won't let me inside to start my shift at the plant. All I'm left with are the memories of the good ole' days at work.
7 - Blank
See above. Still having issues.
6 - Time to Urinate
I have to piss really bad. Probably all the coffee I drank. How can it be? I drink one cup of coffee, but urinate two cups of liquid? Where is all of this added moisture coming from? I measured with an official measuring cup. The same thing happens when I drink beer, but that ratio is nutty as fuck. One bottle equals three bottles of piss and sometimes four. These things don't make sense. I feel like a piss factory.
5 - Beautiful Day
It's nice outside again. I thought about going outside to write an article, but the invisible wi-fi cord isn't long enough. I went to the store the other day to ask for an extension cord to help solve this problem. I insisted they exist and I made the clerk walk up and down every aisle until he finally said his shift was over and it was time to go home. He at least apologized for the inconvenience. I didn't.
4 - Blah
I'm feeling lazy enough and fear I might start taking shortcuts.
2 - No New Art to Share
Normally, I'd have a new image for everyone to look at, adore, and enjoy.
Not today...
1 - Finally!
I can't think of anything to write besides a lazy top ten list. That's the main reason why I will not be writing an article today. I don't want to bore my followers to death with such nonsense. That's not fair. They deserve better, so I decided I won't write an article today because they'd just hate me if I did. I don't want to be hated, I want to be appreciated. I hope they can all manage to find a way to live a normal life without reading my daily post. I'm sure they will forgive me if I do end up taking a day off though. I keep saying I will take a day off, but never do. Today is the big day.
That's All
I only hate you sometimes.
That still better than no times! I'll try to not write something less often. This decision was too hard to make.
you didn't get my .005 or less upvote today and I didn't follow you and I still don't know that you create digital art and no one resteemed you into my attention span today because you didn't write. hmmm. lesson learned. ty :)
When you give me a reason to say thanks, I'll be sure to get right on that. I'm glad nobody came to see the article I didn't post on this day. That would have been embarrassing. I think I'll try invisible ink just so people can't see how dumb I am.
If you find a way to market invisible Internet Ink, you'll make millions.
That's a good idea, but realistically, I may be better off settling with about 40 bucks for not writing a post. It all adds up.
indeed it does! LOL
I vote for the mushroom trip over the psychiatrist. It might help you see pretty colors to inspire some new art. Enjoy your day off! Eat something good.
Oh, cool!
We get comments on the articles we didn't write now too? That's a neat feature. Unfortunately, I won't be able to respond. Still can't find that damn keyboard. If I could, I'd agree with what you said, but that's really hard to do without words. If something changes, I'll be sure to let you know!
Well, I like the art that you didn't post!
I'm glad you like it. It didn't take long to not produce and leave on my hard drive for another day. Maybe tomorrow I'll include it in a post. Today isn't good for me though. Too much going on.
Thanks for not commenting! It saved me a lot of time and now I won't have to respond. I appreciate that!
And thank you for not responding to the comment I didn't make!
You're not welcome!
How strange. Someone is randomly laughing at me. Or crying. Or do you have something in your eye? That's what I say when I cry but feel like maintaining my masculinity. It works!
In the valley of the night, the wolf howls deep...How often I wondered how this wolf did sleep...How often did he not eat...Tossing and turning for hours and weeks...In the valley of the night, his soul was meek...For In the valley of the night, this wolf finally discovered, that he was only a sheep:)
That was baaaaaa d-ass.
Lol!!! Thank you Sir! lol Great work and clever as always man:)
What a shame, no article to read today!... If you had written an article then I could have replied and upvoted,maybe resteem...
maybe tomorrow that keyboard will show up,and the shrooms will have left a story to tail..
food for thought!...lol..
we all need breaks so ,go use the head and get back to us ,as soon as you find that wifi cord!
;-)
namaste
I'll have to go ahead and not thank you for your un-comment. Thanks for not giving me any advice or understanding the situation I didn't tell anyone about. I shall carry on not being here, doing this. I'd apologize if I had a reason to. Maybe tomorrow I'll get around to it. Have a good day.
Just wait until you're my age and pissing becomes an exercise in itself! My prostate is the size of Rhode Island and I typically walk around 15 miles a day back and forth to the bathroom... then try writing (or sleeping)
Sounds like you're trying to have a pissing competition with me. I'll let you win this round. First prize is a package of adult diapers. They look like underwear now. I already have some, so you can win and take these.
Maybe that's the answer... I could save money by not wearing out a pair of house shoes every month!
You could hook yourself up to a garden hose too. Just tape a funnel on the business end, then tie it around your waist. Put the other end under the fence and into the neighbors yard so you don't ruin your lawn.
Good idea... I don't like them anyway... their dog barks incessantly all night long- maybe I could run it into his water dish (Man I'm a prick sometimes!)
Go with the mushrooms. Always the best plan, mushrooms. Then, I'd really like to see what that looks like.
I'll have to find a farmacist. Unfortunately, I don't know one, so I'll just have to go for a little walk at the lake behind the dunes near that tree and the old beaver dam. I'm not sure what's there, but when I get there, I'll find out.
There are housing developments around my old town, built upon land that used to be perfectly good cow pastures where we would wander around occasionally with garbage bags and glowing faces looking for the fun guys.
I think I know where some cow shit is. I might be back later. If not, I'm not.
I'm going to up vote in hopes that this post makes enough money to buy you a keyboard that doesn't use batteries. Shudder
I think it takes batteries. I opened it up and didn't see any, so I assumed they were missing. I tried to find the little slots, couldn't see them. I just put two double A's inside there and screwed the bottom panel back on. It's been working well ever since, but I can hear them rattling around inside. If I find it, I'll be taping them down so they stay in place.
I'm having nightmares about your keyboard tonight. :P Then again I'm one of those fancy assholes with a really loud clicky mechanical keyboard that costs way more than it should. :)
I used to have a mouse that cost way too much. Having a pet snake gets to be quite expensive.
lol
you forgot in bed with the loved one ...
Yeah, had I wrote this, I would have forgot to mention the Palm sisters. Nice catch.