I Was An Asshole.... (And I Liked It)

in #funny8 years ago (edited)

I'd like to share a silly article that I wrote 8 years ago. I was 28, immature, mischievous, took too many substances - a complete asshole basically.


(That's me being an asshole)

While I'm still a bit of an asshole, life has spanked me so hard that it forced me to slow the fuck down. However, slowing down somehow blocked my creativity.

You see, this is the first time I've ever written anything in 8 years.

But reading my past articles apparently helped me remember a part of myself that was carefree. I miss that fuck it attitude.

Once tapping back into that state of mind, my thumbs started typing this away.

Knowing now that remembering your past can be liberating, here's a tiny introduction to an almost forgotten part of a fool - a silly article that I most probably wrote when I was high as fuck.

I suggest not taking it seriously. Laugh with me or at me - both are equally justifiable.


WHEN IS IT OK

Somebody recently asked me, “When is it OK to start dating after divorce?” At first I thought this was a very hard to answer question. However, I thought about it for a little bit and determined it is actually quite easy!

I know of people who have gone with option #1: To start dating a few weeks before telling their partners they want a divorce. For these scum buckets of evil, they are lucky I am not God or there would have had to deal with some “random” lightning strikes…

I am also aware of people following option #2: to wait until a few weeks after decomposition in a coffin sets in. These later folks believe in reincarnation. For people that do not believe in it, I recommend option number 3: to be closer to option #1 than option #2, but making sure there is no harmed individual in the process.

The idea behind option #3 is to realize that life consists of a finite number of days. Hence, we better take advantage out of every single one of them! Some people are so enthralled into this rule, they start the dating process on their first marriage’s honey moon. Heck, they don’t know when they are getting divorced! Why wait? I am thinking that should be called option #0.

In conclusion, the answer to the question is: As soon as POSSIBLE, where "possible" implies you are ready both physically, mentally and spiritually.

You think this is full of crap? Well, what do I know? I’ve never been into that ship wreck before.


Stupid ? Yes. It doesn't even makes sense!

However , the key here is flexibility.

I lost that a long time ago just to be socially correct. But once you realize that an idea about who you are is such a fluid concept, you won't let society tell you that you are crazy. It won't get you.

So the moral of the story is:

YOU are the only one who can tell you who the FUCK you are in the inside. Because who you are, is FLUID.

And what is more liberating than being anything that you wanted to be - just like water...?



"You must be shapeless and formless like water." - Bruce Lee

#humor #funny #satire #satirist #huh #lol #wtf #silly #fun #laughs #laugh #stupid #selfawareness #self-awareness #writing #comedy #comedian #fuckit #dumb #authentic #honesty #real #realness #flashback #flashbacks

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Good story, from one previous arsehole to another :)

Thank you. This arsehole is still a work in progress. More idiotic posts are coming 😄

Helloooooo Nia !!! so happy to see you here and read many more stories . Guess what , I also like to be an asshole sometimes hahaaaa .....but not for long
I just introduced myself very briefly in case you don't know me yet hahaa
lets dance together again or meet in SNUR soon little sister . I LIKE YOU !
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@mammasitta/i-am-floating-with-steemit-om-swastyastu-via-bali-with-love-from-la-mammasitta

Yaasss... See you soon luv! Waiting for your next post. I'm sure you have more wisdom to share... xo

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