One of your planet's inhabitants is building a shrine to me. What are the rest of you waiting for?

in #funny7 years ago

Greetings loyal followers.

My executive assistant Vera, who is the perfect woman and is therefore worth any ten men, has informed me that one of your planet's inhabitants has sent a transmission about me. Apparently @inber is quite fond of me.

Who can blame her? There are two types of women in the universe, women who worship me and women who have not admitted that they worship me... yet.



These women worship me. It is probably because I respect and cherish women so much and would never exploit them in any way.

Clearly @inber is one of the very wise women who is able to embrace her undeniable attraction to me. Clearly @inber knows of my propensity to take part in fake wedding ceremonies. But she is wise enough to not fall for my chicanery. I respect that about her.

In fact, nobody respects women more than than Lord Vader does. Before she died in that horrible choking accident, my wife would constantly say, "You have such respect for women, you've got to speak more about it, because there is nobody that cares more for women than you."



Here I am respecting one of your female inhabitants.


This probably comes from the fact that my mother was one of the great people ever in my life that I've ever met. Because of her, I have just amazing admiration and respect for women. I have so much respect for them that after my mother died, I killed an entire village of Sand People (including unarmed women) because I just have the greatest amount of respect for all the women in the universe.

I have so much respect for them that I once hired a woman to be my executive assistant. I hired Vera when no one else in the Empire was hiring women. It had nothing to do with the fact that she happens to be the greatest executive assistant in the history of time and she makes my job 1000 times easier. No. I hired her to show my dedication to women. That is how awesome I am. I hired the best person for the job even though she was just a woman. You must admit, that is pretty awesome.

Since then, I have hired exactly zero women, but that has nothing to do with how much I cherish them. Nobody cherishes women more than Lord Vader. Nobody.



Now I am cherishing one of your women and not objectifying her in any way at all.

There have been times when people have tried to say that I don't respect women like @inber. But that is preposterous fake news. Even my daughter (who I barely speak to) has said, "Daddy, nobody respects women more than you. Daddy, what are they talking about?" Well I told her not to worry her pretty little head about that at all. I told her to let the men worry about it. Do you see how much respect I have for women? I have so much respect and cherish them so much that I don't want my daughter to even try to think about anything even for one second.

You're welcome women of the universe.



I'm talking to you ... all women of the Universe. I respect and cherish all of you hotties.

Anyway back to @inber whose shrine to me has added at least six months to every human's life expectancy. I am incredibly impressed with her talent and excellent taste in subject matter.

For example, instead of being delusional and believing that I was marrying her (like so many others) she merely built an idol of me to bring with to her wedding.

Just look at the way she loving looks at the idol of me.



How could I not respect someone who is so honest and in touch with their feelings. I am constantly telling people to "search your feelings" but this young woman did it without me having to tell her. That shows initiative. I like that.

She also has a tremendous amount of talent. Look at this:



Have you ever seen an image of someone so powerful, handsome, smart, amazing, who happens to have the coolest voice in the universe? Of course you haven't... until you saw that image of me. She even managed to convey my spectacular voice in a motionless picture. I thought I was the only one who could create something so amazing.

Oh wait. That wasn't cool enough?



@Inber made it look like my giant amazing head is just floating in your Aurora Borealis. I have heard that it is a breathtaking display... which has now been made better by me.

It also looks like she discovered something that everyone on your planet should know.



My awesomeness is in everything. This young woman merely has the wisdom to recognize it and the talent to reveal my presence.

I recall meeting this excellent example of the female inhabitants of your planet.



I realize I am about to ask you all to do the impossible but I must insist. Do your best to fight your urge to stare non-stop at me. Summon all of your intestinal fortitude to take your eyes off of me for one brief moment (I know its difficult but you can do it). If you look to my right, you can catch a glimpse of the very loyal @inber. Ok. Excellent. Now you can return to looking at me. See I am still here and I am still amazing.

@inber you have pleased me a great deal. As a result I am going to bestow upon you an honor I have only granted to three others on your planet. I present you with and authorize you to wear this badge...


Screen Shot 2017-07-06 at 1.49.24 AM.png

You're welcome.

The rest of you should all view @inber's full transmission ASAP!

https://steemit.com/blog/@inber/love-story-with-the-dark-lord-darth-vader-even-holded-the-rings-on-my-wedding-all-the-drawings-photos-engravings-and-other


Although she granted me permission to use her images from that post, there are still some there that you have not seen yet. Your life can never be complete if you have not seen every image of me. So go view it now.

Cherish and respect
Respect! Buyahca!
Cherish is a word
You're welcome hotties!
Badges?
All other images can be found on @inber's post.

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Thank you for your attention, my Lord! I'm honored!:)

Normally I would say you should be. But in this case, the honor is all mine.

Well done post You deserve for getting Upvote from me. I appreciate on it and like it so much . Waiting for your latest post. Keep your good work and steeming on. Let's walk to my blog. I have a latest post. Your upvote is high motivation for me. Almost all Steemians do their best on this site. Keep steeming and earning.

This comment has received a 0.08 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @hamzaoui.

My other armor was at the cleaners.

Hilarious post xD, good job on showing your respect for women :v

Excellent cosplay i really like the girls here :o, this is art

costumes are so dope and the pieces of art too! great post, upvoted

A woman according to me is the most respectable entity in our society. A woman has always exhibited diversified qualities, in the different roles that she plays in her life - as a mother, a sister, a life-partner, a friend, a daughter and of course a source of inspiration... Very nice post!

I love the costumes :-)

I am so glad to see, yet again, how much you admire women. Thank you @lordvader, ( or excuse me, let me spell it with the respect it deserves Lord Vader ). As always, your humble subject.

You and Inber have a special place in the Empire.

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