Greetings loyal followers.
I have just received some responses to the most recent transmission you received. Some of the inhabitants of your planet seem to be confused by the seemingly nonlinear timeline of my transmissions.
There was supposed to be an image of the space-time continuum here.
Which one of you clowns changed my slide?
I assure you that this is your system's fault. Not the Empire's.
Although Dennis, the Empire's IT guy, is only slightly more competent than most of the dimwits I deal with on a daily basis, he has perfected the process of transmitting my messages from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.
The flaw is on your end. Apparently there is something wrong with your receiver. The main problem is that it was built by your primitive engineers.
When I arrive, I will fix that... along with all of your wagons.
I realize that many of you are still very confused concerning exactly from when and where I am sending these transmissions.
Apparently this "hint" was still a little too confusing for your people.
Only if this could have told you that I was located not only in the past, but also a distant place.
My executive assistant Vera, who is the brightest bulb in the box, has informed me that your simple inhabitants require catchy songs and visuals in order to master any knowledge. She based this claim on the following evidence.
By the way Interplant Janet made it to my galaxy. She is not as innocent as she appears.
Seriously? Your kind requires a cute little ditty to remember the Preamble to the U.S. Constitution?
Since I cannot simply super charge your ability to master new information, I will meet you at your ridiculously low level.
Hopefully this catchy little number will help you to understand why my transmissions do not follow a linear timeline.
All of you should be on the lookout for other educational videos in preparation for the arrival of the Empire (Unless you have already received them. It is incredibly difficult dealing with your rudimentary technology).
They should appeal to your unsophisticated population.
The first one will teach you how to properly grovel at the feet of a Sith Lord.