Greetings loyal followers.

My executive assistant Vera, who is the second most spectacular being in any universe, has informed me that... actually she has not informed me of anything. Vera is enjoying a much deserved break from dealing with your system's inhabitants.

I am about to give you an order. Whatever you do, don't make me say a really bad pun. If you make me do that, I will end you... and that is no choke! Curse you! You made me do it! Prepare to meet the maker!

Now that the Empire's IT guy Dennis has finally worked around your primitive technology to allow me to send and receive transmission in real time, Vera has been inundated with messages from your planet. This has left her very little time to attend to her other duties, to practice her new hobby of pod racing, and to simply be the second most awesome being in existence.

Can you hear Vera saying, "This is pod-racing" or "Yippee"? Of course you can't because Vera is not a freaking idiot. No one would actually ever say that. Only a complete moron would think that... and write it down for someone to say.

Even without Vera's help, I was able to receive the questions and answers to the recent AMA I conducted with your planet. The information I gleaned from those communications will make it even easier to subjugate your entire planet's population when I finally arrive. You have the Empire's gratitude for that.

However, there is still a problem being caused by your technicians' utter incompetence. I am unable to receive your transmissions unless they are sent directly to one of the transmissions I send you. Dennis believes I am supposed to receive "notifications" that a message would provide valuable intel for the Empire... but it simply does not work (kind of like how your efforts to break away from using dinosaur remnants for fuel simply does not work).

I love you, you love me, please don't subject me to millennia of intense pressure and then use me to fuel your machines.

Because knowledge is power... actually no that is incorrect. I am power... but having information is also helpful. When the information happens to be about me, it is the most powerful thing ever. But you aren't cool enough to get information about me so ... shut up.

Anyway, the Empire is always looking for information.

So here is your mission:

I "request" that my loyal followers alert me when there are any transmissions on the steemit platform that involve me or require my attention.

You can begin by providing a link to these transmissions in the comment section of this post.

The Empire has a plethora of resources at our disposal. We always honor our bargains... unless you are that idiot cloud miner who thinks he's so freaking suave when he's guzzling down a malt beverage.

He's even worse when he is in action.

I hate that cape wearing, porn-mustache having, wannabe-pimp, scumbag moron! He makes a living from Mining Clouds! How do you even say that with a straight face? Do you think his parents brag about their son the "cloud miner"? That is almost as stupid as being a moisture farmer.

But anyway, I will give you 100% approval on any of these links that you share with me.

Dennis tells me that I can only put this seal of approval on transmissions that are less than 7 days old. So after this transmission matures, leave the links in the comments of my most recent transmission.

Ummmm. Ummmm. That is not my seal of approval.

Here is a recent example:

I had not seen this homage to me. If it were not for the quick thinking of @jphenderson, I may have missed the fact that @inber worships me, thinks I am perfect, and is constructing a shrine to me (like you all should).

Follow @jphenderson's lead and alert me when you find a transmission that pertains to me. You will have the Empire's gratitude.

It's all in the name of pun
Now that's... shut up Lucas
I love being burned as fuel
It works every time
Edward Fortyhands
Seal of approval
Bring them to me