I don't understand this, because your blog post 6 days ago said you had a nice and kind girl come up to you and you rejected her.

Your pain seems to be self inflicted and you are not realizing it.

I recommend you go to @voiceshares and submit something to their depression blog to see if you can get some help or advice.

Good luck.

This post explains how to do it:

https://steemit.com/voiceshares/@voiceshares/voice-of-steemit-share-your-story-of-depression-through-us-and-get-rewarded-let-us-be-your-support-system-you-are-not-alone-in