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Hopes Fly High

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We’re just passing early summer wedding season and I thought I’d drop a fun little post on what I’ve noticed between the ways weddings are done in the west compared to the east. Despite that fact that Korea has almost completely adopted western wedding norms in both appearance and procession - the dresses, the settings, the vows, the family seating, etc. - there are some severe tweaks to the typical wedding event that it warrants some examination/explanation.

The one I’ll be looking at today is the difference in how bouquet tosses are done.

The western way is well-known and fairly rationale. The bridge invites any wedding-goers that are not married, including ones with SOs and divorcees, and the batch of flowers is tossed blindly to be received by a lucky participant. There are usually 1 or 2 in the mob that are more desperate than others, believing in the superstitions energies of the longtime tradition. But a major part of the fun is that luck begets luck and it is always a serendipitous affair.

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Korea’s is much different. If there happens to be a toss in the planned schedule, it is nothing of the joyous and fleeting quality seen so often in America. At most a few come to the stage, and in the most fabricated of instances, only one designated person appears. In both instances, it’s already known who will get the bouquet. Fun. There are a couple of reasons why this typically luck-fueled event is downplayed, pre-planned, and even often simply skipped over.

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First off, being seen as ‘single’ is an oftentimes embarrassing state in the country. There are no such things as proud bachelorettes or many career-driven independent women in Korea. The ethos is massively inclined to pressure young women to marry and settle down. As such, any aspect of a wedding that celebrates singlehood is seen as a bit sad.

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Second, Korea is heavy on appearances. Even if this event was taken more likely and a group of carefree single ladies joined together on stage, not a single one of them would want to admit that they’re vying for companionships and even less so to try and save face if they were to miss the win. Keeping up stature is one of the most important aspects of Korean society, particularly for unmarried women.

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During my own wedding ceremony last year, we actually did a fateful bouquet toss. For nearly everyone in the audience, it was the first time to witness one where the winner wasn’t expected. The even was quite hilarious as you could tell some couldn’t bring themselves to come on stage while even amongst those who did, few wanted to active go for the prize. We actually had to do it twice as the first time, not a should moved an inch and the flowers thumped onto the floor.

So, does your culture or region experience the toss differently? Let me know in the comments below!