Cringeworthy Lines... Have You Ever Used One? Has One Ever Been Used on You? Here's mine...

in #funny7 years ago

Although I have delivered more than my share of really corny lines, one definitely stands out.



No this is not it. Mine is far worse.

Last week I conducted a contest that challenged community members to pick the lie from a list of 10 concerts I had attended. Here's the list:

  1. Jimmy Page
  2. Beastie Boys
  3. Revolting Cocks
  4. Prophets of Rage
  5. Pearl Jam/Red Hot Chili Peppers
  6. U2/Public Enemy
  7. Nine Inch Nails
  8. Underworld
  9. Front 242
  10. Erasure

If you didn't see the original post, the lie is U2/Public Enemy... because I'm not a big fan of Bono.

Although the correct answer was U2, the most popular guess for the lie was Erasure.

If you aren't sure who Erasure is, check this out:


Because Erasure was so poppy and tame compared to the other choices, I figured including them would make the contest a bit more challenging.

But what does this have to do with cheesy lines?

Well... like every weird decision guys make, I attended this concert in order to impress a girl. It's not that I hated Erasure. I actually liked a few of their songs in the same way I like a retro 80s song when it comes on at a bar. I don't really like Katrina and the Waves, but I might bounce around a little if Walking on Sunshine is on... and I have a few drinks in me. Although I found Erasure to be slightly amusing, I certainly had no interest in going to their show.



This will impress her! Chicks dig it when guys get taken away in an ambulance!

Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at things) in 1997, a girl I had just started dating was a huge Erasure fan. Being the slick guy I am (that is not even close to the truth) I figured I could impress Debbie by taking her to the concert.

We weren't "going steady" (is that even still a thing?) so there was no guarantee that she would say yes to my next offer to go on a date. I figured these tickets would lead to a sure fire "yes". I was right.

Once at the concert, I was a good sport. I had a few (too many) drinks and did my best to enjoy the music.



Well no-one can say the concert was boring...
He was actually wearing this to prevent him from accidentally hearing my line.

Fine. But where is the tacky line?

After the concert, I did everything I could to manipulate her into asking a question whose answer I had practiced all week. She asked me how I enjoyed the show. I played along and provided an answer that was sure to lead to the essential next question.

Finally she asked, "How long have you been an Erasure fan?"

I responded, "I'm not an Erasure fan."

She became perplexed and asked, "Then why did you you have tickets to the show?"

Yes!

She asked!



Turning on the smolder I said...

"I'm not a big Erasure fan... but I'm a huge Debbie fan."


Boom goes the dynamite.



She laughed. I joined her and played it off like I was purposely trying to be cheesy. I wasn't.

Although I don't think she ever caught on to my ruse, on our next (and last) date, I just couldn't stop cringing at the thought of me saying that. We were doomed... which was cool because I didn't want to go to any more Erasure shows anyway.

Two weeks later, I asked my wife out. For some unknown reason, she said "Yes". I've never had to use a cheesy (or any) line since.

Ok now it's your turn. What is the cheesiest line you have ever said or heard?



Debbie, if you happen to be on steemit, feel free to use this story. I'd love to hear it from your point of view!

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@hanshotfirst I have heard many cheesy lines but I haven't really tried impressing girls with lines, gifts or stunts, I think being your best self is the way to enjoying better relationships.

I agree 100%... now I need to build a time machine and convince 21 year old me of that. Lol

really enjoyed reading this and I have to admit I did like some of erasures songs but don't tell anyone ha ha

Thanks! Don't worry it will be out little secret.

Everyone knows you like there songs NOW! It's on the Blockchain FOREVER!!

I have been saying this for years.
"Excuse me. If no one has said so yet today, can I be the first one to tell you you're gorgeous?" Depending on the response, it is usually followed by "A beautiful woman like you should have someone to tell her that every day"

That is a really good one. It's respectful and polite. At the very least, you should get a nice "thank you" form that one. Well played!

Polite was the goal, and always at least a "thank you". But making pretty girls smile from ear to ear, that's the real reward.

That is awesome!

Yes, it works.
No, I have never used it on @prettykitten, I just tell her every day 'cause I want to. And she is!

She's a lucky lady!

Not as lucky as I am to have her!

(ROFL! There's your puffed cheese corn)

Nice! Way to throw down that alley oop I threw you!

Excelent teamwork!

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Image source

Hello, friend @hanshotfirst
I was checking my wallet just now, and noticed this:

4 days ago Receive 7.500 STEEM from hanshotfirst
I was checking out the list of most active users and saw how many comments you have made. I checked them out and you really go out of your way to be positive and encouraging. That's awesome!

I'm just stopping by here to say "Thank You" for your kind gesture, and for your very encouraging comment! I appreciate it!

Now, if you'd care to send any readers and followers over my way, that would be really cool... :) :D

No, seriously, Thank You for your kindness - you've improved my day, and I appreciate it. :)

😄😇😄

@creatr

P.S. Sorry it took so long for me to notice! :O

You are very welcome! You really go out of your way to encourage others. I just wanted to give you a small token of appreciation for doing that. Your comments mean a lot to many people!

Well, you've helped to make my day with your encouraging words and kindness. Thanks again! :D

I'm really glad to think that I've been able to encourage others. Steemit is a very cool community, and I've personally had a much better experience here interacting with almost everyone, than I've ever had at other social media venues in the past...

I know! In general, this place is so positive. I always avoided social media because I didn't want to deal with negativity in a hobby that is meant to relieve stress. You are a big part fo taht positive atmosphere!

That is sooooo bad!!! On thinking about the worst lines I have been presented with....I realised I have erased them all from my mind!

Haha, i've used so many pick-up lines and don't the stupidest things approaching girls. I tried to get my 5 year old neice once to give a girl a snapple bottle and tell her to tell the girl "My uncle told me to give this to you because he said you're made from the best stuff on earth." . She was too scared to do it. Failed countless times but great memories to look back on and kept me alive with all the adrenaline and giggles from the girls.

Lol! Oh the depths we will go to in order to get a girl to talk to us!! Great Snapple attempt!

That is an excellent strategy. I wish I could forget lol!

I think its called traumatic brain injury!

Looking for hammer now...

Thanks! This made me laugh!

Like you made me laughed while reading the post. Thanks for the anniversary wishes. May God's grace continue to be upon you.

My pleasure! Thanks for the well wishes. I hope to see you are around more!

"You fell into my eye and I can't get you out. "

And then she said: "My friends are here" and left. Can't win them all.

LOL!!!! You miss 100% of the shots you never take. At least you took a shot!!!!

Builds character too.

A very positive attitude. One day I am seriously going to have a talk with my son to just put it out there. Give it a shot!

"How much does the right leg of a dinosaur weight?
Enough to melt the ice between me and you, nice to meet you my name"
I used this one and even if its stupid it works almost every time xD

That is awesome! Very unexpected. I bet it gets a lot of giggles.

I have heard this one as "how much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice! Hi I'm (insert name here)"

Nice twist!

Awesome entertainment provided .really funny.

Thanks! I had fun writing it.

Pick up lines are hilarious lol
And your too kind mr @hanshotfirst Thank you for my birthday pressie :)

The whole idea of "lines" are so silly. You're welcome. I hope you have a great birthday!

Some are so cringy lol
I will and thank you again :)

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