Cringe-Worthy Joke of the Week (Vol. 11)
“Life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you’ll have more beads than you know what to do with.” - Ellen DeGeneres
We’ve survived another Monday and it’s time to celebrate another one of life’s little victories.
Here are a few cringe-worthy jokes to help neutralize those Monday blues.
So, sit back, relax, and laugh! Retell these jokes or share your own in the comments below.
Q: What do you call a person who doesn’t fart in public?
A: A PRIVATE TUTOR.
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hell was that all about?’
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Little old lady.
Little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!
“You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the water slide overthinking it. You have to go down the chute.” - Tina Fey
*I am an American novelist, poet, traveler, and blockchain enthusiast. If you’ve enjoyed my past poetry posts, autographed copies of my handmade poetry chapbooks, Emancipation, and The Greatest of Secrets are for sale now on Peerhub for a limited time.
I chucked out loud for the yodel one :-)))
also awesome Ellen quote
😉 I'm so glad I found that Ellen quote!! What an amazing person she is!
These ones weren't too bad, the tutor one was cringeworthy but I enjoyed the yodeling joke, very clever wordplay. Upvoted
Thanks!
Most welcome
Thanks, all were great, but the snail one really cracked me up.
You're welcome! That one really made me laugh too. 😂
Thanks for the post. It's good to laugh a bit here and there!
You're welcome! Especially on Monday's.
There was a man that wanted to go to the movies but he had his pet chicken with him. I guess this pet went everywhere with him. Anyway, the chicken wasn't going to be allowed in, so the man stuffed it down his pants, out of sight. Soon after the movie started he began to unzip his pants. Horrified, the woman next to him whispered to her friend beside her what the man was doing. The friend didn't get alarmed at all.
Instead she shrugged and said something like, "Don't worry about it, if you've seen one you've seen them all. The woman then exclaimed, "But THIS one is eating my pop corn!!"
Lol! Now that was funny!
I was just about to shut this down, then I remembered Cringe worthy jokes! I love this tradition. And I really love that Ellen quote. The yodeling and the snail joke cracked me up!
Now here are my contributions :)
Q: What did the buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?
A: "Make me one with everything."
Q: What do you call it when Batman skips church?
A: Christian Bale.
I'm so glad you stopped by! Thanks for your additions. I really like that Batman joke! 😂
It made me giggle ;) Oh, that post I was telling you about, for my steemit journey so far, is going up today. It's turning out pretty cool I think ;) Make sure you look for it, since you're featured in it.
Awesome! I'll check it out!
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Awesome as always, the yodel joke was definitely tops for me!