I got a letter from my jealous old wallet [Story]

Few days ago I was sitting in a coffee shop and had my coffee.

Then I called for a waitress, I wanted to pay and leave. I took out my old wallet from my pocket and I was sure that I left some money there yesterday!

But I was wrong!

There weren't any bills or coins, all my cards, my ID, my driver license all was gone! Only one piece of paper was there and it was folded twice. So I took it and I realized that there was a letter for me:
"My dear owner! We were great friends some time ago. You couldn't live with me and I enjoyed going everywhere with you. Now you have many of those crypto wallets and you completely forgot about me! Let me tell you something! You can't touch those electronic wallets, they are not made from the best leather, you can't save anything there, you can't place there your cards, condoms or photos of your family. Remember how we had a great time together, you were touching me all the time and the smell... nice smell of money, the smell of bills that a thousand people touched before... But you forgot that, you don't care for any paper money, you just write your passwords and you don't know how to appreciate me as you faithful follower. So I hid your money and cards from you until you come to your sense. Forever yours, your old wallet!"

Wow, I got a letter from my jealous old wallet!

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I found some money in my pockets, payed for the coffee and decided to write an answer to my wallet:

"Hello, you infection! I see you smell worse than ever. That's just because the money that you're talking about, a thousand people were touching it! You are the only thing that was left to me from the stone age where I lived many years. I am glad that now I can get rid of you, you were always something amiss in my pocket. Lately, I really hesitate to touch you. Each time when I touch the paper money, I feel like I made a 100 steps backwards. I was thinking about saving you after all we have been together, but after this letter, I'll just throw you in trash bin. And you didn't hide any of my cards or money, I just left it accidentally in my other jacket. Thanks for everything, @dumar022!"

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Check the last announcement by @whysoserious:

WE HAVE FINALISTS! HELP ME TO CHOOSE THE WINNERS! IMMEDIATELY!!!