Fire Master!
A few years ago, on December 23 - my husband tried to blow up our house.
He failed. However, he did manage to burn off a 1-inch circumference of his hairline, from one ear to the other. His goatee and eyebrows also melted like plastic. It looked like someone had splattered spackle in place of his facial hair. hmmmmmmmm.
We moved from that house, and didn't think we would ever have the exciting opportunity for him to blow us all to kingdom come again.
But, hoo. ray. We moved. New home.... with a wood burning stove. Again.
I'm not sure why he has a death wish, or more importantly, why he wants to subject ME to his shenanigans. As a chef, he has the utmost respect for the sharpest knives. You would think that a chef would also have the highest regard for fire, no?
When he gets too close to any flame, I shout in alarm, "Watch out! That's hot!"
He smirks and replies with his cool, unphased demeanor, "Only to the average man." I wish you could see my face right now. Deep, cleansing breath.
Anywho. We heat our home with a lovely, wood-burning stove.... Here we go again!
IMPORTANT NOTE: When you load up your cold stove with so much wood that there is no possible way for it to even BREATHE... and the smoke behind that glass door is swirling around like a tornado.... please, tell someone what you did. Ya know - so your wife doesn't come over and say, "what in the world is happening here? Let me just open this glass door and see wh"........BOOOOOOM!
It's a good thing I opened that door with caution (aka REVERENCE FOR THE FIRE), because opening it slowly still knocked me back 3 feet and rattled every window in the house.
I swear. That man.
I'm not even going to tell you about the CO alarm going off at 3 am and my 6'8" husband climbing on top of the chair which was on top of the table... and how he fell.... and..... SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Enter: Fire Master
Why did I need to become the Fire Master? Because SOMEONE needed to be. ha!
I have much to learn about the ways of the fire. But... after reading posts from the homesteading group - and @freedomtowrite and @freedompoint encouraging me to share my tips.... I thought I would!
When you first start off, I've read (and experienced) that it's ok to have about an 1" light covering of old ash in the stove.
Here's what mine looked like. (and notice our new cast iron humidifier on top of the stove! We used to use a normal kettle - but THIS thing has a lovely wide mouth that spews out steam!!!)
Then... I don't know why - but this is part of the secret! When I used to use crumpled up paper for my starter, (I prefer junk mail hehehehe) I used to toss them in one at a time. The flame would light quickly - but die down just as fast.
The secret tip: (and maybe you all already know this? hahaha) Make a log cabin, with the paper crumpled lightly in the center.
As you build your log cabin, the logs will keep the papers together and concentrate their heat. Instead of the heat burning up quickly and fizzling out, it burns and continues to burn! HOT!
Continue to build your log cabin, filling the space in the middle with the paper as you go.
Now here is the wild part! Normally, when building a fire, the heavy logs aren't really a part of the initial mix! But with this technique - they go right in! There they are at the top, resting on top of my smaller pieces of split wood. Everything is going to ignite quickly and generate so much heat!!!
While I was setting this fire up this morning, I asked the hubby to go get some more logs off the porch. He is a good LOG Master. I stroke his ego with this. hehe Take a look at this cool carrying sack that his sister got him for Christmas. It's leather and lays flat when empty, but wraps up the logs so nicely to carry in the house!
Now... it's time to light!
It took only 4 minutes total, from the time I lit the paper to the time it was a roaring fire.
The sight below is confirmation that I AM FIRE MASTER!!!!!! hahaha (Not sure if you can tell, but it's registering that it's at the very onset of the BEST OPERATION stage!) gold star for me :)
Your husband seems normal to me haha. As a guy its our job to control, start or put out any and all fire everywhere.
Following!
hahahahahaha well - if he started... AND THEN put out said fire.... i would have fewer complaints!!! but he likes to start fires and the walk away in oblivion.... hehehehe
He is the best husband of all and i love him dearly and he has SOOOOO many amazing qualities.
Firestarting is not one of them ;)
also - i forgot to say - HE WAS FINE after he fell. But.... he was using my cooking tongs to reach the fire alarm (honestly - he's 6'8" - standing on a chair, ON TOP of a table... and STILL needed cooking tongs to reach the alarm. Fire alarm, 15 feet up in the air. Is that really necessary?!?!?!?)
he fell when he was coming down... so he kinda braced his fall.
on my tongs.
and destroyed them (siggggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!)
(if you like this post... you might like my detox posts hehehe People tend to stay away from them cuz who wants to read about a boring old detox. blech. but..... they're fairly amusing!!! tee heeeeee! )
That is great! I am so glad you did a write up! Fire safety is so important. There are so many people that heat with wood stoves, and not alot of talk about safety. Where we live there are house fires all the time.
That's heartbreaking... fire is so dangerous! I usually use humor as a vehicle to tell my stories - but thankfully my hubby was really ok! Not a fun way to spend Christmas Eve!!! but thanking God that it was all superficial burns!
we had a friend that had a house fire recently too! dangerous!!!
Stay safe you two :)
Right! The biggest issue here is the piping is just slapped together with mismatched pipes! So places even take out a window and put a piece of metal and black pipe all the way up. Dangerous stuff.
ok so now i'll challenge YOU to write a post targeting various safety issues hehehe
and... side issue. please do not feel obligated to upvote! I'm SINCERELY asking you and your wife to read through my (r)evolution posts and see if it connects with you. Someone had suggested to me that you might be interested in being involved... and I had thought of you both as well! so I thought - hmmm ok - i need to reach out to them!!!! if you have a moment - please just glance at it and let me know if it intrigues you at all! (you can just leave a comment anywhere on ANY of my posts - i'll find it hehehe)
Super fun writeup. I love our wood stove, and I use your techniques as well. Sometimes I don't build my log cabin so well and it takes a bit of time to get the fire going, but the process of getting the fire going is fun.
Of course you use this technique.... did you forget??? (long lost twin.... LOL)
it's true - if you just slap your log cabin together - you will have to spend so much time nursing it! but take the few minutes to build it nicely - and whoosh! love it!
thanks for visiting me @negativer!!!! :) you'll have to come back tonight when I post my chapter 2 of Fireflies!!! i'm excited to start posting my chapters that i've written!!! still need to write the next half of the book hahahaha but - posting it helps to fuel that fire :)
by the way @negativer..... if you like this post... you miiiiiiiiiight enjoy my detox posts. LOLOL You can't judge a book by it's cover! They're not as "healthy" as you might think. hehehehe
As a man we don't admit failure we just call it gaining experience lol
Ohhhhhhh is that the manslation of that!?! LLOLOLOL
Nice! Hahahahaha
I'm so glad you made this post! I'm also glad your husband is ok, and your ceilings are so high! I think @freedompoint should also make a fire safety post...he does a great job keeping us safe!
they are SO high! and thanks for the nudge to write it - it was actually super fun! hehehehe
yeah - i told him.... since you both challenged me - then i challenge him to write it! come on now.... get that safety post written @freedompoint! hehehehe
He did it! Here it is!
Hehehehe I just commented (and upvoted too of course!!) That was so informative!!!!
Gold 🌟 star!!! Hehehehe
LCL!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂