How are babies made?- Comedy open mic round 5
How are babies made?
I have wondered about this question a lot and mom’s explanation of the stork cannot possibly be correct.
According to my calculations, a stork can’t carry the weight of a human baby.
Getting it from a factory is also not the correct answer, I tried to return my brother-straightjackets are uncomfortable.
Also, where do storks get ther supply of babies.Now that I know it can’t be a factory, I’m perplexed.
My mother is unwilling to answer. So, I am asking you which one of my possible theories is correct.
1.When a handsome neighbour moves in: I’ve seen this phenomena with a lot of my friends. A hot guy moves next door, they get pregnant. I’m not stupid it can’t be a coincidence. So I live next to a 75 year old woman who wears leather pants and a bikini top in December. More on her later.
2.Cheeseburgers without diet coke: As we know that cheeseburgers should always be had with diet coke, otherwise it is unhealthy. But what if you have them without it, sacre bleu. Boom! Pregnant.
3.Forgetting your pills: My friends have their vitamins everyday and really freak out if they miss a pill. They immediately test for pregnancy. Kill Pill vol.2.
4.Calisthenics at night: I think some people don’t have time to exercise in the morning so they do it at night. Although the people upstairs groan a lot during their exercise routine, it often leads to babies. Which is ironical because you end up getting fat after exercising.
5.Alcohol: The more alcohol people drink the higher the chances of pregnancy. I have the stats to back that up. I will post them to you.
6.Sex: Don’t laugh! This could also be the reason. Highly unlikely though, my 75 year old neighbour would get pregnant everyday.
7.Punishment: When you’ve done lots of bad stuff like laughing at your friend who fell from the balcony on Romeo’s head in a school play, and also uploading the clip online can lead to you being punished by taking care of little humans.Happened to a friend of mine.
I also asked some erudite steemians for help and now I need new friends.
HOW ARE BABIES MADE?
@juliakponsford just scarred me for life
@Amberyooper has a more hands on approach
@philodendron doesn’t even know how they are not made
Please answer @soundwavesphoton
@pechichemena has the most scientific answer (tags steem stem)
Be safe,
Have neighbours with bad personalities, diet coke with a large order of burgers, eat your vitamins every morning, exercise during the daytime, don’t drink, don’t have sex and be good.
Become a nun.
I'd like to nominate @juliakponsford and @dflo to take part in the contest here
babies are like cats but rubbish
babes and pussies
I think all these theories are true in one way or the other - @juliankponsford in my opinion seems to be the closest to figuring out the right answer, because it's just too weird not to be true !
Very nice entry - many good laughs here !
yeah..... like i always say, the nastier, the more likely....it's scientific, i can show you the stats
I trust you a hundred percent - I know you got the stats from @steemnsfw, and he has quite the wide database
I am pretty sure you just have to save your hair and fingernail clippings and stick them in silly putty. Or that might be how to never, ever, ever, run the risk of getting pregnant. One of the two.
hey Carl, howya doing?
we're been waiting a long time for cyclops to enthrall us with a COM entry.....comeon, don't keep us in suspense, do one for round 5, am begging you Carlster.....on my tiny frail steemy knees!
Home construction projects also help. A couple next door was trying to have children, but couldn't. They decided to add a deck on the back of the house, and had a handyman come over to do it while the husband was at work. Sure enough, she got pregnant!
When a handsome neighbor moves in, he's usually pretty fit so he doesn't need diet coke for his cheeseburgers. This is where the downward spiral begins. This gives you the impression that you too can skip the diet coke, gives you a sugar rush and then makes you forget your pills. I think you have 4 and 5 backwards, because alcohol comes into the picture after the sugar rush. Once you're intoxicated, the two of you suddenly think you're up for an exercise which leads to sex. The punishment would thus be a sex trophy.
In conclusion, I choose #3.
Source: This pretty much happened to me.
It's cooties, If the boy has cooties and you kiss him and swallow the cooties they grow in your tummy and turn to babies
thank you for the laughs, you are a natural
haha I had a great laugh! Tag me next time you post this. I want to laugh more.
I think Julia wins this one! LOL
I liked the scientifcal answer. explains all about that water issue and things breaking, and why we like to swim.