I am a blog about Brandt’s first time climbing Mt. Holy Cross, and I am a miserable failure.
Hello there!
I am a blog about the first time Brandt climbed Mount of the Holy Cross, which is located near the town of Red Cliff at the northern terminus of Colorado's oh-so-scenic Sawatch Range.
Unfortunately, I am also a miserable failure.
Any decent blog about Brandt climbing a mountain would begin with at least a little bit of background information about why Brandt was interested in attempting to summit a 14,005-foot peak in a remote wilderness setting far removed from any conveniences or emergency services, should want or need for such arise.
Then, after establishing a motive and identifying some kind of emotion to help the reader empathize, the decent blog would proceed to describe in painstaking detail exactly how Brandt laid out his plans for the climb, selected his pack and gear, prepared his nutrition and hydration, cross-checked the weather forecast for the next three days on five different reputable websites, and mapped and studied his route until it was perfectly committed to memory.
As you can see, however, I don't do any of that.
Which makes me a completely fucking useless disappointment of a sad, sorry blog about Brandt's climb.
If I was a good blog — or, hell, even just an average blog — I would very eloquently explain how Brandt was feeling during those first few minutes of the hike that day as he left the trailhead and ventured into the vast and untamed Holy Cross Wilderness to scamper up one of Colorado's infamous 14ers.
And, as I skillfully wove together the threads of my captivating story, I would of course be sure to cover any and all details related to exercise at high elevation, including the impact of lowered atmospheric pressure on Brandt's ability to breathe and maintain normal oxygen saturation, the risk of him becoming hypothermic due to the sweat generated by improper layering on a cold winter day, the possibility of slipping on patches of ice camouflaged in the shadows as he slowly but surely worked his way up the trail toward treeline, and the very present danger of sustaining serious injury while he navigated a precarious boulder field in gale-force winds just below the summit.
But do I offer any information at all about any of that stuff?
No, because I'm a total goddamn loser blog about Brandt's Holy Cross excursion — a complete waste of space on the internet.
And I should be ashamed of myself.
No blog with even the tiniest smidgen of self-respect would dare tell the tale of Brandt's adventure that day without carefully indicating the nature of his descent from the top of that glorious mountain majesty, riding on a rush of adrenaline down the ridgeline and into the trees and through the forest back to his car, where he could finally allow himself to fully reflect on and celebrate his exciting accomplishment.
But I didn't do any of that, because I'M A BAD BLOG.
A GOOD blog about Brandt climbing Holy Cross would have breathtakingly, mindblowingly, jawdroppingly, eyepoppingly AWESOME photographs as companions for its candid, insightful, and occasionally witty narrative.
But all I have are a few pathetic shots that look like they were snapped by an amateur with a cellphone and barely edited before being tossed to the winds of the world wide web like so much chaff.
Because I'm a wretched piece of SHIT blog and probably the worst fucking FAILURE in the HISTORY of blogging since they started keeping RECORDS.
So, please don't waste your time reading me.
I have nothing worthwhile to offer you.
I'm a miserable, miserable failure.
I did a bad job, and I'm really, REALLY sorry!
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I'm so fucking disappointed with this blog.
Three minutes! Three whole minutes I spent reading this piece of shit! I will never, ever get those three minutes back!
100% vote, hilarious, nice photos, well written, good job man!
I'm not surprised you're so disappointed. This blog is a piece of shit and it should really be ashamed of itself. This blog stole three precious minutes from you! If I were you, I would never forgive it for what it did to you. What a bad blog.
Thanks man! Really! No joke, that really means a lot to me.
Well now you just made standards that I'll expect you to live up to A GOOD blog about Brandt climbing Holy Cross would have breathtakingly, mindblowingly, jawdroppingly, eyepoppingly AWESOME photographs as companions for its candid, insightful, and occasionally witty narrative.
Cause obviously this had none of that.
LOL. Loving it man ;)
Crap, me and standards do not get along! What am I supposed to do now that I have standards to live up to? Shit. This will not end well. Shit shit shit.
😄
This is a terrible blog. This blog should be publicly shamed. The best way to accomplish this is if everyone votes for it so it becomes popular and then everyone can see for themselves how terrible it is. I'll start.
Thanks for getting the ball rolling! This blog should definitely be thrown to the dogs and trampled by the mob. We can't let this blog get away with doing such a bad job. The people deserve to know!
Good site
Bad comment
Great article and shots!
I'm not falling for this again.
Sure, whatever. Not sure if you see the irony here, but leaving drive-by comments on blogs without bothering to upvote them is a case in point.
https://steemit.com/steemit/@grantcardone/steemit-has-an-entitlement-problem
Go ahead, man, keep jerking it. I don't care. Have a lovely day!
Hey man, great stuff. If I may shamelessly promote, I have a new 14er podcast out. Just search 14ers podcast in itunes. Have a great day man
We are grow with time, with each blog. Just last eve i went onto my first post and oh man its so so embarrassing. You raised and understood what would have been done better is a step towards making the next blog a sure shot hit.
Keep up and look forward to your posts.
PS: Don't go onto my posts. I don't think I covered any of the must haves in my posts :|